new years eve plans for couple

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2007
new years eve plans for couple
8
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 1:47pm
I'm trying to plan a nice evening for New Years eve with my Boyfriend, we've dated for almost 3 years and usually do not spend Christmas together bc our families live in different cities. We've been going through some rough times lately, but i wanted to do something nice for him (us) for new years eve. He's not very out going, but I am, so I try to get him to do more fun stuff. Any planning ideas?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 10:03pm

Welcome to the board ms.darbonne,


Do you have mutual friends or other couples that you can plan a small get together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 10:35am
no we don't unfortunately, he's going through a really bad wrap of insecurity and has been for almost 3-4 months. He says I work too much and put him second and is just really insecure about everything. I just want to try to do something to show my initiative and thought.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 12:07pm

What things to you already do in the relationship that he *feels* represents love?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 2:45pm

I like this idea. Since it isn't the topic of your question, I won't comment much on what it's like to try to cater to someone who is excessively jealous and insecure... But if you're trying to plan something HE would like, a small gathering of friends and people he is comfortable with sounds like a good idea. Get together and watch a movie, make hors d'eouvres and drinks.

In the meantime, consider how long you want to continue catering to someone who doesn't trust you very much. I'd set a time limit for yourself. I've dealt with a guy like this before and it isn't bearable if it goes on indefinitely.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 3:08pm

::He says I work too much and put him second and is just really insecure about everything.


Is there any truth to that? Do you work too much and put him second?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 5:56pm
I love my work and I've found my calling in life. I am a humanitarian and he's definately not. I do not work too much, but I do have evening programs and sometimes I schedule activities on the weekend, but i've only been working here for about 6 months and Im trying to prove myself, so nexy year I can get an excellent evaluation and receive a great promotion. He just doesn't understand. I see him everyday and give him
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 9:01pm
All that doesn't make for a good match....yikes.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 12:15am

You two obviously aren't meant for one another and I have a feeling you know that.

Opposites do often attract, but they only stay together because each person has what the other wants/needs. You both would obviously be happier with someone more similar. I've been with an opposite too, and while it was exciting at first, I eventually felt like you did - like nothing was ever right and that we just didn't fit.

There are men who are more compatible with you - many, many of them. Make sure you know that before you decide to continue this relationship.