Newlywed Woes
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| Fri, 08-13-2004 - 4:59pm |
I have a problem and hope that someone can give me some advice. I'm only 21 yrs old but I recently married an amazing man, nearly 4 months ago. While we dated things were wonderful, exciting, passionate.... but it seems that the day AFTER we were married things sort of died. He no longer acts as if I'm the center of his world anymore, he doesn't do things for me, say nice things to me and sex is almost completely out of the question. I just remember how things once were and I miss that, I confront him about it and he says he doesn't know what's changed it just has. :(
Perhaps someone has went through the same thing and can just give me an idea as to whats happening and hopefully we won't be in this rut forever? :/
Thank you so much!
CactusLover

Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com
We met in college and were close friends for nearly 3 years, we dated steady for a little less then a year before we decided to get married. During the time we were friends we went out on dates but nothing serious until we were both ready to commit to each other.
I mean, although you were friends - the transition from friends to romantic partners requires restructure of the relationship.
If you two had a passionate interest in one another prior to this point during dating......I'm not sure what to tell you other than talk to him and see what is going on.
If he didn't date you because you were the "ideal girl" according to his parental standards, and upbringing and so he was "holding off dating you" until he was ready to settle down...it's possible that he was ready to settle down for the same reason he considreed you the "ideal girl" - other people's definitions, standards, and requirements.
And now that he's into this situation like everybody told him he should be if he would be living up to expectations, he's not really thrilled and delighted to be married, or even with you.
I married 4 guys....3 of whom I had absolutely "no passion". I thought given my circumstances, and other people's expectations - I should marry them, did it - and ended up regretting having no passion or passionate inteerest in them...and the marriages distingrated. Sex isn't everything by a long shot - but a passionate interest in someone will carry you thru where 'just friendship" alone will not in a marriage or serious relationship.
Erin
quickblade14@hotmail.com