No chemistry

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2004
No chemistry
5
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 12:59pm
I recently had a date with a guy who seems to know what to want from life, has a good job, good looking etc. BUT i felt no chemistry on our date and got bored too! i believe that one should feel chemistry on a first date, otherwise if you give it time you'll just stay with the guy because you start to like the idea of him, not because you like him. Can someone please give me advice on this! is chemistry important to feel on a first date, and should i give the guy just one more try?


Edited 6/30/2004 1:06 pm ET ET by trixa22776
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
In reply to: trixa22776
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 1:28pm
Each person has their own opinions and experiences with this. I personally have never experienced chemistry growing over time. If it's not there for me at the beginning, it's not there. I have heard people say that they developed chemistry after getting to know the person better (but it wasn't there to begin with). So everyone's different. I personally would not settle for a relationship without chemistry though. It's an important ingredient in the recipe that makes someone right for you IMO. How long you wait to see if it's there is your call. Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-29-2004
In reply to: trixa22776
Wed, 06-30-2004 - 1:35pm
Hi, I think chemistry on the first date is always a plus but if you didn't feel it I would give him a second chance and if at that point you are still not feeling it then don't bother with him anymore.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
In reply to: trixa22776
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 12:47am
Trixa:

I once met a doctor who was studying relationships. She interviewed 1,000 happily married couples. One of the questions she asked them was if they had chemistry when they first met. Eighty eight percent of them said no.

I was going to a therapist once. She was great. She said that if I walked into a room with 100 single men in it and found myself instantly attracted to one, I should turn around and run.

The problem is that sometimes the guy who is reliable, genuine and good is not exciting at first. They do seem boring.

If you really just don't like the guy, don't go out with him again. But you have nothing to lose by giving him another chance.

C

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
In reply to: trixa22776
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 3:42am
On my first date with my bf, I hardly felt any chemistry. I thought that was it for us. But he was sweet so I decided to give him a second chance. On our second date, the sparks flew! You should definitely give this guy another chance but if nothing happens on the 2nd date, maybe that should be it for both of you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
In reply to: trixa22776
Fri, 07-02-2004 - 7:39am
you could definately give it one more try - you really have nothing to lose. sometimes, that instant "chemistry" just fades away quickly and sometimes it takes longer to feel connected to someone = but that connectoin lasts longer.