No desire for sex vs. no more love him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
No desire for sex vs. no more love him
3
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 4:22pm
How do you know if the reason you no longer desire sex or physical contact with the person is due to other reasons(such as health) vs because you no longer have feelings for them?

In my relationship that I just ended, I really disliked physical contact. I never wanted to make love, or kiss, or hug even. Sometimes I'd hold hands just to make him happy, or I'd cave in and do what he wanted. But I never felt like getting physical and always sort of brushed away when he tried to kiss me.

This incident lasted for over a year. I never could pinpoint a cause. When we initially started dating it was more passionate, and I enjoyed the contact. But near the last year I didn't want any of it, and it just frustrated both of us. He wanted more contact, I wanted little or none. Eventually we did end it, cause it frustrated both of us.

I tried to get hormones tested and test for depression. but nothing came up.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 4:28pm
Did you like, admire, respect, and accept him as a person based on his values and standards and goals and accomplishments?


I mean, if you didn't - who wants someone they don't like, respect, or admire touching them?

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 10:37pm
Hrm.. respect. I'm not sure. Of course there are qualities I do like. but some I dislike.

I like that he likes who I am. Loves me. I'm pretty sure he would never cheat on me.

I dislike how he's sort of lazy with things. Not really a gentlemen(when we go out, i seem to pay more), um sometimes he's a bit selfish with physical contact. He sometimes gives up too easily.

but ya, it's not a clear cut yes or no :(


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 11:05pm
You have posted about him several times. It seems you fell out of love with him yet stayed with him for a long time after realizing this, analyzing things and hoping feelings would change because he loved you and you *should* have loved him back. Of course you didn't feel like getting close.