No help..tired..accused of cheating!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
No help..tired..accused of cheating!!
5
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 10:08pm

Hello everyone, this is my first time writing and I would like some advice. I am in a five year relationship and have two children, ages 4 and 2. I get no help at home and have to do EVERYTHING. and I do mean EVERYTHING and I have a full time job. By the time night rolls around I am very tired. Many times I just want to sleep and not have sex. During the day I am fine, I want to kiss, hug etc but by the time night comes I am beat. The problem is that I have been accused of cheating (yeah right) as if I have time to do anything!!! I was the one cheated on two years ago (year long relationship) because of this same issue. Sometimes I am so angry and resentful for the lack of help, sex is the last thing on my mind. I doubt he will ever change (in the help department). What advice can you give. I think he threatened to find someone else again!


Thanxs

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 10:24pm

I'd like to know more. Where does his insecurity come from? Has he been cheated on before? If you have two children together, is there a reason you haven't married? What's your relationship like outside of this issue? Are there any other ways in which he accuses you of doing something you haven't, or expresses extreme insecurity or jealousy? How long have you been living with this behavior? Has it been affecting your children?

I also don't really understand the timeline of your situation.
You say you have been in a five year relationship with this man but then go on to say "I was the one cheated on two years ago (year long relationship) because of this same issue." Was this guy the one who cheated on you two years ago?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 10:32pm

I guess he is saying if I am not having sex with him then I am with someone else??? and yes he was the one who cheated with me. It was two years ago and it lasted for one year.


We haven't married, just because. I guess I am waiting on him.


Our relationship is good most of the time. This is our main issue.


For our whole relationship, he has not really helped me that much. Of course he used to do more in the beginning but now forget it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 7:57am
I'm not sure why you want to marry your BF. You say he doesn't help out at all, he has cheated on you and you obviously are still having issues with that. If you can't trust him, and can't count on him I'm sorry to say there isn't a strong foundation to a relationship. Have you gone to counseling?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 12-22-2007 - 9:19am
Do you think he might be withholding doing the housework as "revenge" for you not having sex with him?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 12-24-2007 - 9:17pm

Welcome to the board tiredandbetrayed,


It's really hard when things are bad to communicate effectively and to be heard. It's easier for him to accuse you of cheating that to help around the house.