No love but can't leave

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
No love but can't leave
4
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 12:18pm
For over a year now I have been agonizing internally about my lack of love and passion for my husband. We have been married for four years but together for seven. I don't love him anymore--love in the sense of passion. He's a great man and has loved me without end all this time but more and more I want to get away from him so badly. He doesn't excite me, challenge me or insprire me. We have very different personalities and have "butted" heads many times over the years. So why stay, right? Well, he loves me for who I am--without judgement. He knows every dark detail (and there are plenty) about me and loves me anyway. But for some reason I feel nothing in return. I have begged for him to let me move out of our home but he feels very strongly that we can repair the marriage. I have asked family and friends to help me financially so I can move out and not leave him in a financial bind but no one can help me. I feel very trapped which I am sure makes the situation worse than it is. I feel very weak and out of control (which is completely out of character). I have no idea what to do!! Why can't I just be thankful for this wonderful person in my life? Why does being out on the social scene with men I don't know (and could care less about me) seem so much more desirable than the stability I have at home?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 12:46pm

Welcome to the board gidget654,


"Why does being out on the social scene with men I don't know (and could care less about me) seem so much more desirable than the stability I have at home? " Maybe you are looking for excitement that you fee is missing for your marriage? Do you think that could be it. This question could probably be answered in individual counseling.


Do you have any desire at all to stay in your marriage?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 2:42pm

Welcome to the board gidget654,


What makes you happy, or what makes you *feel* happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-06-2007
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 2:44pm
Honestly, I really don't want to stay but I am so afraid that I am making a rash decision. I mean, I don't feel anything and haven't for quite some time. But I am an extremely loyal person--I often trap myself by needing to always do what is right and expected of me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 04-06-2007 - 3:56pm
Do you have any idea so to way you feel anything for him? Did something change to cause you to feel this way?

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