Not enough for her

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Not enough for her
2
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 5:16pm
Hi People

Looking for the womans point of view....My wife of 25 yrs keeps bringing up the past we were kids when we married I did alot of foolish things I had credit cards that my wife did not know about was not very truthful I was always obsessed about my health because my dad died whn I was young I went throug times of panic attacks witch started when we went to have kids and she miscarried 3 times...we allways weathered the storms I through all the panic attacks and health obsesion worked and kept it together.Now that I am in my mid forties I have recived a cardiac cath and foud out that all my obsessing for years about my heart were unfounded .So here we go we have a great son who is 11yrs old I am not obsessed about anything health or other wise now. so what happens I find out that a very young man has made a pass at my wife at work and I am trying to Ignore it but then I find out nomatter how I have returned to my old self my wife cant seem to forget the past her response is time will tell where we go from here I just not sure I have returned to my old self taking time for special time w my son sending my wife cards bring her flowers paying more attention to her she says thaks but I know she does not like that Iam dooing these things she is putting on a act.The strange part is this never affected our sex life in my wifes word thats why she keeps me.but hates that I am touchy feeley.would love to know what other people think .
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 10-18-2004 - 6:34pm
Sounds like her resentment has built up so much that she can't see past it and/or she wants to let you know very strongly how she feels about things to the point of damaging the relationship. Sounds like she wants to be 'right' at the cost of everything else.

Reading material to consider:

Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw

A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman

His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr

Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix

The 10 Second Kiss, Ellen Kreidman

My best to you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Wed, 10-20-2004 - 1:41pm
Hi

Thanks for your reply I do consider my wife to be cruel at times allways has to win.I must explain to her,To move foward we must forget the past.Do you think it is wise to go to this young man and explain to him that complements are nice but to take it past that point is not wise. Thanks CJ