Not enough for me..

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Not enough for me..
8
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 8:22am

I have been dating a man for 2.5 years now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Wed, 04-25-2012 - 11:33am

Just playing devil's advocate:

I used to tell my SIL that just because a guy isn't "good for

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 2:16pm

I learned early in my marriage, that delegating and accomodating each of our personalities goes a long way towards maintaining a peaceful relationship.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 1:04pm

Sounds like we have a Type A person (you) living with a Type B person (him) This is pretty much how I'd describe my own marriage of almost 34 yrs. What I've learned is that I am not going to change, and neither is he. Oh he may try to change for a while to placate you, but eventually he will revert back to who he really is, which is someone wo does not place a high priority on things like chores or fixing things, and you are always going to be a perfectionist in that you want things neat and in there place and want things fixed now and not a week (s) later. So what you do have to decide is IF these things are dealbreakers in you relationship, especially if you 2 are compatible in many other ways. The way I see it in my own marriage, is yes he drives me crazy with his perfectionist ways (I'm the one that's much more laid back about things) I figure if something don't get fixed this week, it will get fixed next week, or the following week. Now of course it's different IF it's something really important that you can't go without for a week (like the refrigerator) So maybe you just need to pin him down on a time for things to get done. Tell him ----- needs to be fixed, can we agree on Saturday afternoon to do this? You also have to put this in perspective too. Yes, he may not be the best at getting things done around the house, but he is a good man. The next one could end up being a drinker and/or a cheater.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:50am

Of course I sat him down and expressed how we would work out the bills and also the cleaning.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:18am

Without communication, you don't have a relationship! You'd better start learning HOW to communicate.......or do you expect him to be a mind reader?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 9:08am

Have you sat down with your BF and discussed what your expectations are, and what his are.

Photobucket
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-03-2003
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 8:37am

Thanks for your insight.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-14-2007
Mon, 04-23-2012 - 8:29am

You list an aweful lot of negatives that I believe in hindsight you'll be kicking yourself for "not seeing it earlier".