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| Sat, 01-31-2004 - 11:24am |
My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and been together for just under a year and a half. Last May, I got pregnant and was very sick for a few weeks. We ended up deciding not to keep it and I realized after that that was the wrong decision for me. Anyway, around the same time I was trying to deal with my emotions regarding that situation, I happened to find out he was frequenting some adult dating sites. I confronted him about it and he told me they were left over subscriptions from before we were dating. He promised to get rid of them and did. No more charges showed up on the credit card bills and everything was wonderful for a few weeks. Then I found the sites again, although he was not paying for them this time. We talked about it again and the subject of having sex with other people was brought up. I have only had two sexual partners including him and am fine with that, but he told me if I wanted to I could sleep with other men. I believe the only reason he said that was because he wanted to fool around with other women. I told him I was very hesitant and would think about it. I eventually decided it was nor the right choice for me and told him I would be very upset if he did go through with it. He told me again that he would stop and he did for another few weeks. The third time I found the sites, I was checking up on him. He denied it and told me it could have been anyone who was using our computer (my fifteen yr old brother was staying with us at the time). He finally admitted it and told me that he started going back to the sites while I was pregnant and too sick to have sex with him. He stopped again and then picked up the habit again just last month. I told him if it was something he felt he needed to do then to just tell me and I would try to understand, but for my own sanity I would be checking up on him to make sure he was not taking it beyond the computer. He has assured me countless times that he is not going anywhere, howver my gut tells me not to believe him. I have told him that this makes me feel unloved, unattractive and like I am just a spaceholder until he can find something better, but if he doesn't he'll settle for me. I have still been having a hard time coming to terms with having an abortion and this is not helping me. I have not had a very close relationship with my mother, and now I live in another state entirely. I have no family around and very few friends for support. I love this man with all my heart and we talk about getting married and having children in the furture, but I cannot get past this affair with the computer. He is on it almost everyday. I keep hoping this is just a phase he is going through because we are both young and never have had a serious relationship before. Is there any hope he will change?

What do you get out of this relationship? As much as it hurts, I think it's time to plan a future without this guy.
Carrie
How many times has he did this to you?And, how many times did he tell you he would stopp hurting you and betraying the relationship?And, howmany times did he continue to do these things after he told you he wouldnt?
He couldnt stop if he wanted to...not for you, not for anyone.Not untill he actually wants to.i would move on considering that he always disrespects you.