Not sure how to go forward
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|Tue, 05-14-2013 - 9:22am|
Hi everyone, well it's been a while since I've been on the boards! I'm in a bit of a dilema and really just need some support, suggestions, I really think I know what I need to do, but it's just hard ..
So.. I have been dating my bf for 1 year (we met on eharmony.com), I thought our relationship was the best I'd ever been in, being with him made me feel like I was in high school again, I mean literally head over heals in love and excitement I had whenever we were together. I thought for sure (and told many friends) he is the best guy a girl could ask for, soo sweet, caring, thoughtful.. but.. every now and then I'd have my radar go off and I'd get the feeling (you know it, that gut one) that something was not quite right. About 3 weeks ago the feelings started getting worse, I mean, butterflies and all, so I confronted him and asked if there was anything he needed to tell me, was he talking to other women, feelings changing, what? He swore up and down, no no no, you are the only one for me, I have no interest in anyone else.. you can check my phone, emails if you don't believe me. Hey he offered so I said ok, let me see. This is totally out of character for me by the way.. but I was soo sure there was something.. and what did I find? Under his browser he had the Eharmony screen up.. I said whats this? And he played dumb, I said go log on to it I want to see.. and he acted like he'd forgotten his password because he'd not been on there in soo long.. me? didn't buy it. What did I do? I logged on to my old eharm profile and reinstated it.. only to see his profile was up and running again! I was soo hurt. He had sat there and told me straight to my face there was no one else, but in fact yes, there were some women he was talking to at that site. My gut feeling is that he's gone to dinner on atleast one or two occassions when I was busy, of course he adamently denies. He has since deleted the profile, but for all I know he could be on other sites as well. Now I question everything he tells me. He's got a meeting at work.. my mind jumps to he must be meeting someone for lunch. If I can't reach him by phone I assume he's up to no good, etc. I feel like it's making me psycho and this is not me!! I really don't think I can get past this, and he may or may have not slept with any other woman, at this point who knows.. which is a very scary thought, do you think I'm blowing this out of proportion? I mean, it was so easy for him to stay straight faced and lie to me when I asked him initially it really makes me question how many other lies he's told me. It's sad because I really do care for him we have fun together, but I just hate doubting every blasted thing he says!