Not sure how he's feeling/thinking

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Not sure how he's feeling/thinking
3
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 3:18pm
A FEW MONTHS AGO my guy and I fought pretty bad a couple of times...screaming breaking stuff and I even hit him on 3 seperate occations, (he wasn't being a angel either.) But I thought after we said we were sorry that bigons were bigons. About 2 weeks ago on a saturday, we were supposed to hang out, (like every other Saturday.) I called him after school and he was with his friends & they were ready to go on a boat. He was being very shady toward me and hung up and turned his phone off. He did this about three times that night. The next day I got a hold of him and he said it was over...out of know where. Later that night he called and said I'm sorry, I love you...and so on. Every other day - Literally - we were breaking up because he "needs to be alone for a while" and can't "forgive me for hitting him," but he "loves me and doesn't want anyone else." This was EVERY OTHER DAY, then the next day would be OK. Well I explained to him that I was VERY sorry for the fighting, (which I am,) and that it would never happen again. And we talked and all that stuff. But now I'm noticing weird things. Like he doesn't call me as much any more, gets annoyed over little things, just overall aggervated with me. I need to know what he's thinking!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 5:28pm
What is HE thinking?

If his attitude with you is HOT one day and COLD the next....he obviously hasn't a clue whether to consider things or end them altogether?

You 2 need to break away from each other for at least a few weeks. Not easy...but it certainly doesn't sound like things are ready to improve?

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-21-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 10:25pm
The only way you are going to know what he is thinking is to ask. It is difficult to do this at times, but it is the only way to know for sure. You can guess, but that's would be like him guessing what YOU'RE thinking.

My opinion is, he is in that phase where he missing being around you, just like he would miss a pet when it is gone. This isn't to say you are like a dog or cat, but the feelings are similar. That's why he saying he loves you on the phone, but then he doesn't act like he wants to be around you. He goes off with his friends and doesn't answer his phone. He may be still hurt and stung by your reaction to your fight. By the way, it is NEVER ok to throw things and hit each other during a fight. This is a juvenile reaction. Yelling sometimes can't be helped, but you must remain calm and truly communicate your feelings if you expect issues to be resolved. Otherwise, all that gets resolved is that you have hurt each other.

From your message, I am guessing you are still in your teens or early twenties. Breaking up with this guy will not be the end of the world. If I were you, I would quit chasing him and calling him. If he doesn't get back with you or call you back, then you know it wasn't meant to be. I'm not saying this will be easy. But it will be much better in the long run. Start making plans to move on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-09-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 10:37pm
Sometimes sorry isn't enough. Trust, friendship, etc. isn't the same until you've truly re-established your relationship mutually. It takes a while just like a true friendship does. After a few fights - sometimes relationships can chill pretty quickly. Respect is lost even though apologies were made and you attempted to continue the relationship - the view just looks different.