Not sure what to do...

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-17-2004
Not sure what to do...
2
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 2:02am
Hi everyone, please respond to this, i need a lot of help.

My boyfriend of over a year really wants to have sex. I want to too but there is so much involved, possible pregnancy, and hard to find the right time and right place because we both still live with our parents. We are just 17. Anyways, my boy doesnt want to effect my free will..so he wouldnt tell me what was wrong, until i forced it out of him. He told me that one night he got depressed so he phoned a therapist and asked for help. They told him that if our needs dont match, we should break up. He just said thanks and hung up because thats not what he wants to do. We love eachother but i'm not ready! I'm also worried because i've never had an orgasim before, and we've tried a lot. We almost had sex once but "it" wouldnt fit. Please someone give me some advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 8:14am
Perhaps your best course of action here is to think about what would happen if you got pregnant? And let's face it...even if you use birth control there is still the possibility. Would you have an abortion and have to live with that on your conscience for the rest of your life? Would you give your baby up for adoption? Would you keep your baby? If so, how would you support the baby? What job skills do you have? Since a baby usually means the end of a teenage romance, how will you feel saying goodbye to your boyfriend who most likely won't want to marry you or pay child support? You see sex for women has all kinds of consequences that it doesn't have for a man. That is one reason why women have said "no" to sex before marriage for so many centuries. I believe that women need to reclaim the wisdom of their ancestors in this regard. Good luck to you. Iri
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-12-2004
Wed, 08-18-2004 - 9:04am
Well first off...your only 17....I wish I could make you see that you will go through so many changes from the age 17 on....right now he is the love of your life...in a year or two he may not be...and the fact remains...YOUR NOT READY....never, never ever have sex to please someone else or to keep a relationship together....sex is just a very small part of what makes a relationship work...it won't hold it together...anyway...you won't enjoy it if you aren't ready....maybe the reason "it wouldn't fit" is because you were to tense. If your not ready your not going to be able to relax anyway. The first time is hard enough. And if you had to write in to get some advice your not ready. I think you know this. If this boy really really loves you then he can wait. After all your only 17. Good luck.