Not Sure Which Direction to Go
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Not Sure Which Direction to Go
| Mon, 10-08-2007 - 4:13pm |
I apologize in advance for the lengthiness of this post...there's a lot to mention!
My husband and I have been married for just over six years.


Welcome to the board tiggerrenn,
I am glad to hear that you want to try counseling. Just sit down with your husband tell him that both of you are aware there are problems in the marriage and you want to go to counseling as the first step towards fixing them.
However, in order for the counseling to work both you and your husband have to want it to work. If you go into it half hearted, the problems will not go away.
Good luck.
glitter-graphics.com
>>I guess where I'm at is I want to do counseling, but I don't know how to broach the subject without him getting hostile and blaming me for our problems<<
You approach it as "we need to work on our problems".
'we've had three ER visits alone because my husband has not watched him closely.'
Yikes,
It's a good thing you want to try counseling. If your marriage is to be saved, you will need professional help with it. Having said that I get the impression from your post that you have no problem letting your husband know exactly how you feel on these issues, that you are direct and possibly confrontational about them. There seems to be a huge communication break down here and I would guess that a lot of that is on you.
You say you are tired of the negativity but that is the whole tone throughout your post. Do you check your negativity when talking to him? Does he feel as though you nag at him more often than not. We tend to train those around us to treat us in certain ways. Maybe he is just sick of hearing about it, therefore is not willing to listen or make an effort to change.
~~I never get anywhere.
Just fix it, for pete's sake!
It's disgusting, and by the time I get home, I'm so tired I don't have the energy to do clean up after him as well as after my son.
Fourth, when he does "help", he makes more work for me.
I just don't get it.
I just can't do it.
We never talk anymore. I've told him before that if things don't get better, I would leave him as soon as I was financially able. I think that worried him for a couple of days, but then it didn't faze him in the least.~~
Just think about some this when you start to see a counselor. When you're in a marriage you don't get to make ALL the decisions and/or have everything your way. It's a partnership.
Welcome to the board tiggerrenn,
I'm with ciao_gina on this one.... I think it's great that you are willing to go to counseling, but he's seriously putting his/your child in danger.
:: Also, he does not watch our son well...we've had three ER visits alone because my husband has not watched him closely.