Not the way I wanted to start out 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Not the way I wanted to start out 2008
4
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 2:58pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 2 years now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 3:39pm

Welcome to the board newbie80,


This is an abusive relationship on both ends. I think the best thing to do is to end the relationship and get counseling to work out why you resorted to physical violence.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 4:48pm

Newbie, I think you've brought this fight on yourself.


Before you start to analyse his behaviour, you need to analyse your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 7:48pm

You both acted like pathetic babies. And you apparently are one of those women who think it's okay for a woman to hit a man because we are physically weaker. You're dead wrong. If he twisted your hand, it's because you deserved it and you needed to stop hitting him. You're just as guilty as he is, if not more so. What absolutely baffles me is that you write this post and it sounds as though you STILL hold him responsible for the whole fight. Well babe, YOU started it. If you don't trust him then you shouldn't be with him. You have no right to hit anyone, ever. You are abusive. Is he a great guy? No. But you control YOUR actions and if you can't do that then you don't deserve a relationship - even with another abuser.

If you end this relationship now, it will have been a long time coming. You obviously do not bring out the best in one another. Leave it, and work on your anger/jealousy issues before you start another round of abuse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 8:06pm
Has he ever given you any real reason to distrust him other than receiving a wrong number? If not, you need to work on your jealousy issues. Even if he has done things to earn your distrust, you still have no right to grab his property. It sounds like he snapped because you hit him and distrusted him without cause. If you have treated him like this in the past he finally had enough. You don't have a right to hit him even if he calls you a whore. That's why this happened. He hasn't become another person, he just stood up for himself. You owe him an apology, but get some counseling for yourself. On the chance that you have a legitimate reason to distrust him, then you really should get out of this relationship as it appears to bring out the worst in both of you.