Now Ex GF and my mother

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2012
Now Ex GF and my mother
6
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 10:23am

My ex gf ended it with me because she said she felt we would always be arguing about my mother.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:03pm

Your girlfriend's perspective on family makes me sad. Having a close relationship with your mother is a wonderful thing, unless your mother tends to encroach on your relationship, which should be a private space between two people. It sounds like your (ex) girlfriend is jealous of the closeness you have with your family, which sucks for her, because by marrying you she could have had the chance to incorporate new people into her life. Instead she chose to isolate herself and make YOU feel like a weird person for having loving relationships besides the one you had with her.

You are better off without her. Your ideal woman is one who is happy to join families and expand love, rather than diminish it. She may not be a bad person but she sounds jealous.

I don't always see eye-to-eye with my BF (of 7 years)'s mother, but he respects me and doesn't let her interfere with our relationship. In return I respect his closeness with his parents and I am happy to have my "in-laws" as part of my life. I'm from a more affluent WASP-y family and we were never hugely affectionate growing up but that's why I really like having another side of family who is different!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2010
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 9:24am

I also come from the family where we are very affectionate and I kiss and hug my mom almost everytime I come and go out of the house. Now I live in Italy and my mom is in Canada, we still talk almost everyday. But it could be that we are Croatia and lot of families are like that there too. There is nothing wrong with being that close to family and as long as your family does not get involved in your relationship, you are not doing anything wrong. This girl is not for you and do not turn your back to your family because of a girl unless there are bigger problems. My husband is Italian and he talks to his mom almost every day too, we go to dinner to his mother's house every week. It is the type of environment that you want your children to grow up

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 01-17-2012 - 12:38am

The way I'm reading your post is that she came from a cool affluent family and she didn't have a clue that some people love and respect their families, and feel the need to touch base with them often.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 10:55pm
Can you tell us more specifically the problems your gf had with your mother, than just being "uncomfortable"? I doubt ya'll broke up over that. Did she feel uncomfortable around other members of your family?

 

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 7:47pm

Sorry this is a difference in the "supposed to be's" .

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 01-16-2012 - 11:45am

Of course being Italian myself I don't think you have a problem.