oh boy!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
oh boy!
3
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 7:29pm
I found out my (36 YEARS OLD!!!) boyfriend has subcribed to a couple of extra nasty interacial sex sites, and that he visits those sites quite often. Should I be upset? Here's the scenario...I'm an attractive, sexy, athletic, smart independent young woman...(and thank God I feel this way about myself or I think I'd be quite pissedoff about this porn deal)....so I wonder...WHY?

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 3 years now. We get along really well but our sex life is not great. I mean when we have sex it is awesome...but once, maybe twice a week for me is not enough to call it great.Although we do go through fases where we shag more often...hmm...whatever...My question is...IS IT NORMAL FOR A GUY TO MASTURBATE A COUPLE OF TIMES A WEEK WATCHING DISTURBING PORN MOVIES IN THE INTERNET???AND SHOULD I, AS A HEALTHY WOMAN ACCEPT THIS AS PART OF WHAT HE IS AND THANK GOD HE'S NOT SLEEPING AROUND AND CHEATING ON ME INSTEAD????PLEASE HEEEEEELP!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-01-2003
In reply to: bananinha
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 8:33pm
Well, I don't know what you mean about "extra nasty interracial sites", but the way I feel about porn in any relationship is...as long as he is taking care of your needs first, he can look at whatever he wants. However, since he is not fulfilling his part of the bargain with you (i.e. too infrequent for your liking), I would say something to him. It's one thing if the two of you have out of sync schedules, but if he is doing that INSTEAD of giving you what you need, he is being selfish. That also includes him getting off before you get home instead of waiting for you. But then you will have an obligation to him to have sex whenever he is in the mood. It doesn't sound like you would have a problem with that. Good luck!

April

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-06-2003
In reply to: bananinha
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 10:15am
What exactly do you mean by "disturbing porn?" If he's watching children or teens, then he needs to get help. But if he's watching adults, I say it's no big deal. Masturbating is totally normal, and most guys I know do it way more than twice a week.

If you think the reason your sex life isn't great is because he's "spending" himself on the porn, then I'd talk to him about it. Maybe the reason he only wants to have sex twice a week is because he's looking for more excitement. Have you tried doing anything to spice up your sex life? There's ALL SORTS of things you can try, and it can be really fun to introduce new, erotic things into the bedroom! :)

Or maybe he's perfectly happy with your sex life, and he just likes to look at porn. Hell, I like to look at porn, too! Have you ever watched it yourself? Have you ever tried watching it with him? Maybe you'll see it's really not so bad.

Good luck to you!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2003
In reply to: bananinha
Fri, 05-30-2003 - 10:29am
Dont be surprised if your husband masturbates daily. This would not be uncommon and I would not be upset unless this is taking from your "together" time, which apparently it is. I would talk to him about it. As for the porn, I agree with the other poster in that as long as he is not looking at children or teens, this is harmless.