once gay? always gay?
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once gay? always gay?
| Sun, 11-02-2008 - 11:16pm |
I haven't told a single soul the truth about my relationship. I married to a very thoughtful man, who once upon a time was in a gay relationship for five years. I met him two years after he ended that relationship along with any other gay associations( so I thougt). I got the shock of my life this week when I answered the a knock at the door. It was a police officer with a warrant to arrest my husband for public lewdness. The issue I later found out from my husband occured when he went to a local park and attempted relations with a stranger, who turned out to be an undercover cop. This incident happened last year a month before we were married. Now I am at a loss. I love my husband so much a i believe that he loves me. I can't even deal with this situation becuase I don't want to add stress to him while there is an impending court case. He told me that that was the first and only time that he has attempted that and he no longer has those feelings for the opposite sex. Do I believe him? Am I stupid to think that this can be simply resolved? I haven't even had time to feel hurt yet, im too shocked

Welcome to the board atap08,
Could be he's bi-sexual.
Men need stable relationships to enjoy life. Our society is not spreading the pleasure our bodies crave. To many people not willing to open up their minds to the pleasures of sex, many are all consumed with violence against each other. Sexual freedom has not destroyed countries who have sexual permissive laws governing their people.
You should feel very luck to get that court order. Now your husband and you can strengthen your relationship. Cheating is a term which should be removed from the dictionary. The word should be used only when describing an act where one person is, say masturbating by themselves!
Basically, yes. This does not mean he is not interested in you, but he will likely always be attracted to men and that itch will eventually need to be scratched. I have many, many gay friends, and those who identified themselves as bisexual all, by the time they were in their mid-30s, were only sleeping with same sex partners. It sounds like your husband really doesn't want to be gay, and that this marriage is all part of that, but I think you both need therapy to work through this - he especially to determine what makes him so unhappy with his/ or at least part of his/ sexual orientation.
Good Luck to you sweetie, you have a lot of thinking to do.
Tobermory
Welcome to the board,
Sounds like he could be bi-sexual to me.
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Personally, I don't believe in bi-sexuality.
<< He has not given me any indiction that he wants the marriage to end or that he wants to continue to have gay encounters. I do agree, we will have to go to counseling and deal with the issue of cheating and his sexual issues/preferences.