Once the other woman...
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| Thu, 11-22-2007 - 1:32pm |
always the other woman...?
Hello everybody! I'm a frequent reader, but really shy... Now I am at a crossroad with my relationship and I'd really like some external piece of advice. I'd really appreciate it if you gave me a piece of your mind about this...
Six months a go I met a man with whom I had the most incredible chemestry with. It was definetely love at first sight. I later learned that he had a girlfriend for 4 years (a strange relationship for them only saw each other once a week, on Sundays). We started having a fling, but I knew that I was on my way to falling for him -and so did he. At first we said that the moment we felt that we were having more serious feelings towards eachother we would break the thing off. But the moment came, and we just couldn't.
We spent 2 more months like that, falling more and more in love with each other. I had never accepted being 'the other woman' until I met him. That's how hard I fell for him.
But he was not sure wether to end up the affair with me or end his other relationship. We knew we simply could not continue on like that... He couldn't stand being torned up, I could not stand my jelousy, my wanting to really be with him, to stop being the 'other woman'.
He did have affairs before, but he says that he never even considered leaving his girlfriend for those other women. That now he was so unsure because he was in love with me -and it was a feeling that he had never experienced before. But he hated the idea of hurting his girlfriend that much.
The thing is that, finally, he ended up choosing me. But ever since, things have never been the same.
I understand that there is a huge part of the natural grieving process in him; I would also be devastated in his case. But the thing is that his ex girlfriend is now text messaging him 5 times a day, crying to him, begging him to go back... And it's getting to him. He is now questioning his decition.
But he also says that if he went back to her, he'd regret not being with me.
This has been going on for almost two months now, and I'm begining to lose my cool. I see him so truly miserable, and I can't help but thinking that I'm the reason for that, and it breaks my heart.
I wish I could let him go, say 'Ok, you should go back to her'. But I don't want to let the love of my life go!
Has anyone been in a similar situation? If you were him, what would you like to hear from me?
Thank you all!!
R.

I am unable to give legal or medical advice. My opinions are based on my experiences and my personal research.
Welcome to the board pulgosa,
If he's had other affairs, my guess is, you won't be the last.
Cheaters lack character and anyone who'd cheat on you does not care about you.
It is not enough to have a good mind. The main thing is to use it well.-- Rene Descartes