one sided relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
one sided relationship
9
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:09pm

I have been in a live in relationship with my bf for 7yrs now,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 3:46pm

'trying to figure out how to get along with him'


I have no idea how to get along with a lying, abusive man. You can't fix this

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:02pm
No. he is tough with the older one which is the one that I have difficulty with to.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-15-2006
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:19pm
Step back and look at your situation and give yourself advice as you would a good friend. Get a job, find an apartment and move out of his house.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:38pm

Please pay attention to this - You need professional help as you are presently in an abusive relationship and do not even realize it. His behavior is totally unacceptable, disrespectful and damaging to you in many ways and yet you are unaware of this fact. There is no reason at all why you should stay with a person like this, even though you feel that you love him. There is no one here taking care of your interests and in fact, you are being misused and undermined. You really need professional help in seeing what's going on and in getting the information and support you need to get out of this negative situation.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:52pm

I realize that there are problems, and I have asked him to go to counseling with me.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:54pm

Unless you're willing to put up with his behavior, the only way to "fix" this relationship is to leave it!

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2007
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 4:57pm
I am actually from Washington State.
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 12-20-2007 - 5:09pm

I googled "meretricious relationships Washington state" and found a number of websites, including one that had this bit of information:


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Washington does not

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2007
Fri, 12-21-2007 - 7:46am
I am sorry to say that on the basis of what you posted, there IS no relationship to fix. He as good as lives a life of his own that doesn't include you in any way - he only 'involves' you when you can be useful to him - things like looking after his children and helping run his business/household. I am truly amazed that you have tolerated this situation as long as you have. Combined with him being abusive and openly cheating on you.... why, why, why are you with him? What do YOU get from this set up? Why are you asking how to 'get along' with him? IMHO, it is waaaaaaaay past the 'getting along' stage, and what you should be doing is packing your bags and leaving, asap - better late than never, better 7 years than 17. Why are you financially dependent on him? Why not look for a job as the first and the most important step? With looking for a flat of your own to follow... After all, in the same way as he is not tied to you (in his view, that is), you are not tied to him - you are not married to this man (thank God). His children are not your children. Do