Is online chatting, cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-19-2004
Is online chatting, cheating?
3
Fri, 01-23-2004 - 8:35pm
I am looking for some peoples opinions on whether online chatting is cheating or not.

I am 30 and my boyfriend is 33.

My boyfriend of three years, does a fair amount of chatting online while I am not home. I have found logs of his account, so I know what he has done and said. It is inappropriate in my eyes, but it never involves a plan to actually meet or call or anything like that. We have talked about it in general, without me giving details of what I know exactly or how. I have made it clear I dont like that. I said, if things are crossing over the line, I want you to stop it. He responded with, if they are across the country from me, I am really not worried about it. I think in his eyes it is really no big deal. Since everything else with us is so good, I try and concentrate on that. He is home with me every night he is not working. He takes good care of me. We have fun together. And he sure SEEMS to love me. We talk about the future frequently. So, what do I do? And if I need to just let it go, how do I do that exactly?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-06-2004
Sat, 01-24-2004 - 7:40am
Yes, it is, although you are right that some men do not think so. My dh and I actually have different opinions about just how far one can go before it becomes betrayal, but he still thinks cybersex is cheating too.

I think men feel that because their intentions/motivations/morals are obvious to them, that they should be obvious to us as well. Maybe your bf really feels he is being loyal to you while just having a little inocent fun, and doesn't realize how much it would/does hurt you. My therapist (male) says men sometimes need to be hit in the head with a frying pan before they realize what they are doing causes pain to others.

Avatar for cl_tcranky1
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 01-24-2004 - 8:34am

Hi


I don't know if I would say it's "cheating" but if it hurts you like that, why would he want to keep doing it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sat, 01-24-2004 - 10:36am
What is he saying to these girls? Regardless of where they live he shouldn't have a desire to flirt with anyone, anywhere, in any way. And if it bothers you then why does he continue to do it?