Oral sex being given but none received

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-19-2011
Oral sex being given but none received
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 3:41am

Well first off I don't want to come off as some man pig who demands oral sex. I always enjoy giving oral sex to my past girlfriends and the one whom I am currently with. Now we've only been dating for 2 months, but we have intercourse daily, and I always perform oral on her. She has made it very clear to me that she "hates doing it..It's gross...And I don't think I'll even be good at it" . I have never received it and by the sounds of it, I am almost guaranteed to never get it, and if I do it will be a long ways away. I love everything else about her and how we are together, but I just can't see myself being with someone who doesn't believe in equal treatment in things of the sexual nature.

Please help me out. I'm really not sure what do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 5:55am

Loveliftandlife, I hear you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 2:57pm

Unfortunately, there are some women who just won't do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 7:28pm

Well it has been said that you don't give to receive, but give for the joy of giving. But apparently that is not the case here. I guess you have learned a valuable lesson, which is not to assume anything when it comes to sex or anything for that matter. There is always a chance that in time she will change her mind when and if she falls in love with you and may want to learn to please you in that manner.

I was once in a relationship that was just the opposite, I gave oral to him

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sat, 11-19-2011 - 9:51pm

I assume she has done it before and didn't like it--I hope you are comfortable enough to talk about it and ask her specifically what it was that she didn't like--maybe really the only thing she didn't like was if the guy ejaculated in her mouth, which frankly is kind of gross, and ask her if you didn't do that would she still think it was gross.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Tue, 11-22-2011 - 9:13pm

Uh, yeah. your girlfriend wouldn't be compatible with me either. Have you asked her if it's something she's at least willing to try?

If she's this reserved about something so common/not-a-big-deal in the bedroom, and you are "almost guaranteed" to never have oral sex again, it would be pretty reasonable to assume that a relationship with this woman is going to mean very plain vanilla sex. Fine for some people, but is it for you? Sexual compatibility is pretty huge.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2006
Sun, 12-04-2011 - 2:03pm
A sexual equal is huge. Definetely talk w/her about it, tell her that in a relationship you need this. Maybe you could come up with a comprimise, like just do it once in a while, not all the time. One time I went out w/a guy who said he didn't perform oral sex, but he would 'do it.' I said that was a deal breaker and I never heard from him again.