Parents hate me.
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Parents hate me.
| Sun, 06-22-2008 - 10:14pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year.
| Sun, 06-22-2008 - 10:14pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost one year.
Welcome to the board misselizabeth22,
Are they saying these things to your face or are you getting it secondhand from your boyfriend?
"I am a very independant...young woman"
Well... Not really, if you still live at home. That's pretty much the antithesis of independence. Why can't you move out right now? Are you in college or have you graduated? You do indicate that you have a job.
"Do they want him to get rid of me because I am white and he is black?"
Aha.
I'm surprised you waited until the end of your post to mention this.
If their problems with you extend beyond these other things that you've fixed, then race is probably behind it. My guess is that you're right, it is about racism.
You're still very young and haven't even dated for a year yet - don't be making marriage statements so soon, especially to his parents. If his parents are going to come around then they will. I am also curious if they make these statements to you or only your boyfriend, and how they acted when you visited. At a certain point you have to say "F them, we're going to be happy no matter what" and do your own thing. When you move out and make your own life according to what YOU think is right for you, regardless of what family says, then you will really know independence.
My mother was treated very badly at first by my father's blue-blood family (she is Polish) for ruining the heritage, and it took a couple of years for her mother in law to treat her like family. But it did happen.
Your boyfriend's parents may have some experience seeing a white woman screw over her black boyfriend. It is most common for a white woman to come out ahead in a financial or legal situation over a black man. Do his parents have any right to treat you as though you're not good for him based on this? No. But their experiences may have taught them to be wary. Give it time - a lot of time. These things don't get better overnight but 90% of the time they do get better. They need to get to know you and understand that you're sticking around because you love him, not for ulterior motive. It's still very soon for them to know for sure. My guess is that it will take years but they will come around.
Since you just met the parents, I have to assume that your boyfriend is the one always telling you that his parents hate you.
******************************************* “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again