parents vs bf
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| Wed, 06-20-2007 - 9:20pm |
i love my boyfriend. we met a year and a half ago. he has been the best boyfriend i've know by far. we laugh a lot together and wrestle around. he's there to support me through think and thin. he is passionate, caring and loving. his only negative in my eyes is a hobby of his that i think he sometimes spends to much with. It could be worse so I accept it although sometimes it does cause an arguement. he loves me and i love him.
We are in our late twenties so a lot of our family and friends always question the status of our relationship. He tells me he's not ready for that big a committment. he loves me. i told him i'm not ready to plan the wedding but i know that i want to spend the rest of my life with him. he's not at that point so we were going to break up. he drove away and after pulling over three times turned around and came back. he doesn't want to be without me but he's scared of the committment right now. (he blames it on what other men say, his own parents divorce and he sees the way my mom treats my dad - she's always yelling)
now my parents think the longer he waits the more they are convinced it's going to happen. b/c of his hobby they see him as selfish and that i'm not a priority. they think i give too much in this relationship.
my bf does give me a lot. he understands me and he loves me. he is selfish and he admits that. i am happy when i'm with him. i too am concerned if we can make this work for the long haul given his resistence.
am i a fool and blinded by love? how do i respond to my parents who i feel do not trust my judgement?

Welcome to the board deenise99,
Part of being an adult is making decisions for yourself.
u wrote: he's not at that point so we were going to break up.
good move. stay broken up until he is at that point. start to see others that truly are an option for the marriage you want. he may never get there.
u asked: am i a fool and blinded by love?
not a fool, but yes, blinded by love (happens to us all). he has told you he is not ready to marry you (and there is no plan for when he will be ready, if ever).
u asked: how do i respond to my parents who i feel do not trust my judgement?
practice this: i am an adult now and while i do value and respect your opinion about my relationships and other things in my life, please respect my decisions that I make as an adult. if it is truly an issue, you can come back here for more ways to handle them.
dont forget: He tells me he's not ready for that big a committment.
if you want a committment, he is not the man for you. you parents probably see this much clearer than you do. sorry you have to go through this...but as the saying goes...you need to kiss a lot of toads.