PCOS
Find a Conversation
| Tue, 05-15-2007 - 1:41pm |
Recently I have self diagnoised myself with PCOS. I have slowly begun showing the symptoms in the last couple years, but of late, the depression, weight gain, and physical signs such as excess hair and extreme mense cycles, have become too much for me to ignore. But this, is not the reason for this question. I have every intention of getting help from my OBGYN.
Its the fact that my marriage has begun to see the strain. I have a lack of sex drive, I have a lack of desire for anything actually, call it a lack of interest. I could easily and contently go to work in the morning, come home, cook dinner and watch an hour of TV before going to bed, and not speak to another human being. I have always been someone who needed to take time for myself. But slowly but surely that time I take has become longer and longer. And my husband has started to speak up about it.
Communication has broken down with us. I find myself relenting to arguements, just because I have nothing to say. I find myself coming home and walking into a routine. I kiss him hello, listen to him break down the events of the day, sometimes add some interesting news I read, or something that happened at work. But in general, it feels like I have lost my ability to care. Like I am numb to my life.
He almost has to drag me out to do anything, and when we are home, I absorb myself into any distraction I can, even if I dont realise it, which prevents me from spending any real time with him. I love my husband. But I am always too tired to come home and immediately go out again so we can do something together. I have a hundred excuses for why I cant do something. And now.. I want a change.
I have been making small changes. I have recently committed to walking every morning to make sure I get some form of excersise before I work. I have changed my diet to make it more rounded with more fruits and veggies. I have begun going to a tanning bed because I have been told that might help with depression, without the use of medication.
My question from here, is what else can I do? These actions I have been taking for well over a year, have now turned into a routine. Habits that are hard to break. I am lost, but I dont want to use this condition I have realised I have, to be the excuse for my actions in my relationship!

Welcome to the board tamiosburn,
It really sounds like you won't feel a lot better until you see your doctor and get on some medication for the PCOS.
You said you have gotten into the routine of doing some things. Maybe you could get into the routine of going out every Friday with your husband. Say to the movies, bowling, or out to eat.
glitter-graphics.com