pictures of the X

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
pictures of the X
20
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 11:23am

my bf and I have been together for 2yrs. WE live together.


About a year ago he said he was going to delete all the pictures of his X-girfriend out of the computer (he had AL OT AND I MEAN ALOT OF PICS OF HER.)

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2006
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 5:02pm

I also had/have issues with my DH's ex. He was engaged to her and lived with her for a year so it runs a bit deeper. My DH has photos on his private drive, and letters and photos in a plastic tub (full of memories). I asked him about it and he has hidden them away, but says they are part of his past and it's not fair of me to ask him to throw it out. I've heard many people say they hold onto ex stuff...not because they care about them, but because it's just something from their past and there were some good memories.


I have to say, I'm not like that at all--when I'm done with an ex, I have zero emotions towards them (in fact usually I start to see more clearly how they were NOT what I built them up to be) and have no attachments and just throw stuff out. So I dont relate to the need to hold onto memories of a past relationship

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 5:41pm

thank you lord for somebody who understands where I am coming from and not barrading me with rude comments!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! girl I could not agree w/you more.


Yes he did give me permission to delete but heck, mabye he didnt think Id actually do it.


I dont see any need or reason to hold onto any pictures or anything. Dont care if it was a good relationship, the breakup was for a reason.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 6:04pm
I know you want to close this thread but I think that a mention about this guy lying to you is worthing noting here.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Fri, 04-18-2008 - 9:05pm

In you original post you left out some of these details

>>I told him if he didn't do it then I would<<

That sounds like an ultimatum and that is not the way to communicate with anyone.

Nothing was said about "if that is ok with you".....We can only go on what you post. And IMO your first post sounded like "you will do what I say when I say it".

Since he deliberately lied to you, you need to address that with him and let him know that is unacceptable, and work through this.

IMO if he wanted to keep some of the pics, but take them off of your pc, he should have told you that you could have come to a compromise....If he wanted to keep some of them, that is his choice, he should have been up front with you about it..but you should have also tried to understand his reasoning for that..(not feel threatened by it).Just because you wouldn't do it doesn't mean he feels the same....doesn't make either one of you right/wrong.

I have pics of ex's and I wouldn't throw them out for anyone, I do not have them on display, but neatly tucked away, if someone can't accept that I keep mementos of my past.. then that is not someone I want in my life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2008
Sat, 04-19-2008 - 8:10pm

"I would never put up with so immature, insecure and resentful. I hope he dumps you."


And you called me rude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 6:30am

I agree Eggbert!!


She found them by snooping. Pictures, card, gifts are a part of one's history.When someone keeps them it does NOT mean they still want to be with them. Its just a part of their past...everyone has one and to ask

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 11:27am

even though this is a long gone issue, since you posted, i will reply.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 12:55pm

<<<(we share a computer, it is HIS computer, but all my stuff is stored in ther as well.)>>>

Just going by what YOU posted!

Getting upset that he still has pictures of her is implying that he still thinks about her, misses her and my want to get back with her. Otherwise YOU WOULDNT CARE.

<<>>
Sounds like an ultimatum. He "forgot". Its not your place to tell him that he can not have pictures or memorablia from an ex. If you want to throw away your past, that is your decision but do not expect others to do it. Yeah, he got pissed that you actually did it. Again, its not your decision to make. Most people would be pissed.

I went by YOUR post...hey maybe you should include ALL the facts next time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-03-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 3:06pm

thank you, come again!


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Thu, 06-05-2008 - 4:58pm

Oh...I will....its been a pleasure....really

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