please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
please help
9
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 9:58am

I am ruined, destroyed and shattered..


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 05-23-2008 - 2:00pm

Welcome to the board,


I am sorry you are so upset about your breakup. I think the breaking up is hard to do board would be a better option for you. Here is a link to the board. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rlbreaking


Please remember that you are much more than your relationship with him and that while it hurts now you will survive this.


Best of luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Sat, 05-24-2008 - 7:47am

he was not worth it ! cool down. i understand it hurts when some men do that. vent on the boards here as much as you like, it helps.

feel better and hugs to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 05-24-2008 - 8:05am
I don't know. Maybe he found someone else, maybe this has been building for a while. What I do know is that you're going to be okay. With or without him, you're an individual who can take care of herself - while I'm sure you're really upset right now, it will wear off, you will feel better about it, you will move on and there will be a better man. You deserve someone to love you. Go for a long walk/drive, be around friends and family as much as possible. Remember that this is only a breakup... A small internal tragedy that is one of the toughest things to go through emotionally but something that you will survive. Good luck and definitely seek out the breaking up is hard to do board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 12:24pm

thank you for your answers...


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 1:09pm

Welcome to the board firstfemalepresident,


He may or may not know the cause.


::I do not love him anymore. I can not love someone who treats me that way..


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-29-2003
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 4:55pm

..the truth is that I still love him to death... but admitting that hurts me too much.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 5:14pm

I don't think you ruined anything. It takes two to make a relationship work.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2008
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 11:35am

Dear 1st female President,

The role of his mother, i.e. her influence over him seems to be significant from the beginning up to now.

He did not explain to you where you went wrong, possibly because there was no solid proof or no rational answer for you.

The good news is, men who are stuck with their mom believe in monogamy, so he has the potential to build a deeply committed relationship with you.

I bet he will return ! By the way, in case you are Astrology oriented, Mercury Retrograde
brings misunderstandings, confusion and temporary upsets. Wait for a week and he'll be back !

xxx

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 06-09-2008 - 3:57pm

First of all, what he does tells you more about him than about you. Why do you take the blame for this? He is the one who has acted badly and in a disrespectful and almost crazy way. He is the one who wasn't able to sit down and talk things through. He is the one who is childish and unfeeling. So, why do you think "you" did something wrong?


Many women take all the blame when things don't go well. It's understandable that you'd be shocked and hurt. Of course you deserve some warning and also explanation. Perhaps his mother did get to him. Clearly, you did not see this coming. But, think of it this way, how fortunate you are to have found out now, rather than later when you might have been married.


There's a lesson to learn here. What is it? What were you not seeing about him? What were you denying or glossing over? What signs were you not picking up about him? Rather than blame yourself, learn from this. Use this situation to grow. Later on, when the hurt and pain eases, you'll probably realize that ultimately it was for the good. Anyone who could act this way is not someone you'd want to be with for the long run.


Best wishes,