Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2007
Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 4:42pm
I have known my boyfriend for 15 years and been with him for a year. We live together. The first few months were great . Things started going downhill a few months ago. He first stopped kissing me then, as of a couple of weeks ago, he quit showing me any affection , having sex with me , or saying I love you. He won't talk to me anymore and the only time he says anything is if it's criticism or sarcasm. Anytime I ask him a question about it he gets upset. He's had bad work problems . He never calls me anymore. He used to call all the time. I'm still nice to him and do stuff for him. He still runs to the store or something like that for me to be nice. I've tried to give him space and that didn't work . For example , I called him today and he said "what's the reason that you called" in a cold tone. He's never done that before. Someone please help. :(
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 5:01pm

Welcome to the board butterflies1978,


Obviously something is going on with your bf, but for whatever reason he is unwilling to discus it with you. Since you have tried to talk to him and he wouldn't respond to that, I think you need to either write him a letter or send him an email about this. Tell him you are worried and trying to figure out what is going on and that you can't continue in a relationship like this. Hopefully that will get him to open up to you. Maybe he would be more likely to talk to you about it in writing since he doesn't want to verbally.


Good luck.


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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 5:28pm

It sounds as though there is something terribly wrong with your boyfriend. Some men have a double personality. They can get set off and then a completely different person comes out. The fact that he is behaving in this way is frightening. You don't know what's causing it, (it's very likely he doesn't know himself). If he is angry and, sarcastic when it isn't called for, it's possible that this behavior may escalate. The fact that it comes from nowhere makes it even less predictable.


I would not stay with a person who is behaving that way and not able to talk about it, work it out or understand what's causing this withdrawal and rejection. It might be better for you to get away from him. Consult a conunselor here. Get some help. Get some other individuals taking a look at this relationship to see if you are in any danger. There are many support systems available for finding out how to get out of difficult or abusive relationships and take good care of yourself. Don't stay there if it doesn't feel right. You said you live together. Perhaps it's time to make a new choice.


Best wishes,