please help

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
please help
5
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 12:45am
need help....my fiance has given up on us. My confusion is I had no idea he was unhappy everthing leading up to when it happened was great. Two days before we were paying for tickets to a show two weeks later...talking with my dad and friends about wedding and looking at pictures of a house that would be good for us. I just don't get it. after my inital rage we ended up spending a wonderful weekend together....and since he has moved his things to his mothers (clothes) we talk everyday and as of last night he put I love you in a text. we are going to dinner sunday. i just want things back. why would he just give up?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
In reply to: jenngagirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:08am
I have absolutely no idea. What did he say when he broke up with you?
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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
In reply to: jenngagirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:10pm
All he said was that he just wasn't happy. The thing is he fooled everyone he didn't act like he was unhappy. If he was he could have said something and at least I would have known and we could have fixed it. He talked with my Dad they are close and my Dad says he is confused and my dad thinks he is starting to realize that he is back in civilian life. he got out of the army about a year ago. He has been totally fine and the only thing I noticed is he is use to taking care of himself and living around a bunch of guys. I don't know we talk everyday and we spoke the whole time at a birthday party for one of our mutual friends on Saturday and Sunday went to dinner and had a good time. I just want him to come home. It's not like we are children he will be thirty in about a month and I am 28. I just don't know what to do I feel so lost. We were planning our future and up until this happened I never in a million years worried about us.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: jenngagirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:25pm

Hi jenngagirl,


As long as you are still talking to him, you are kind of giving him handrails to get over you, to wean himself off of you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: jenngagirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 1:28pm

Jenngagril,


I know you want to get back together with him, however, this has to be his decision. Have you asked him why he did this? See if he will be willing to go to premarital counseling if he is willing to work on this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-24-2005
In reply to: jenngagirl
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:16pm
Thank you and I appreciate it. We had gone to counceling not because of major issues but we knew it could only make us understand each other. It was always good when we went and we always came out with a better understanding of how to communicate to each other better. It was something we choose to do for us.