Please help! I am desperate for this ...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2007
Please help! I am desperate for this ...
2
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 11:18pm
The story may be long. Myself and herself started to become friends sometime last semester. Specifically, our friendship really started off by hitting each other. We were classmates in two classes, worked on assignments together, etc. She is a genius, I am not academically as smart. Yes, granted I didnot really help her on two of the major assignments, however our friendship conntinued to grow to a great extent. Sometime last November I did tell her that I like her, and her response was "Does anybody else know? We are not going anywhere, give me some time". One main problem is she is a muslim and I am a hindu. We have had discussions about this in the past and she is a beleiver in that a muslim girl can only marry a muslim guy. First time we had such a discussion our friendship really didnt get affected. However, late Jan 07 I had this discussion, and she did get mad. I dont know if that what spoiled our friendship. Last semester she has told me things like, "When I first learnt about your name, I was like oh oh! I always end up liking guys with this name." Lot of things she used to tell me makes me beleive she liked me. Whatever the case was, I still dont know why she blocks all types of communication between us. She had stopped talking to me early this semester and that got resolved. She did confess that she was avoiding the religion talk and hence was not talking to me.I assured her I would never bring it up. Her good friend, and maybe mine as well, says she has very low tolerence when it comes to relationships. She did prob get frustrated due to arguments between us, since we both are stubborn and try to hold our opinions. She has all of a sudden again stopped talking to me much, much of which could be attributed to the fact taht she has a lot going on in her life. However, she does answer other people's phone calls not just mine. She finally has told me to "please leave me alone and dont bring up any arguments till May 3". Moron me, I did bring up an argumentative topic about "look into yourself and be honest. Where is our firendship leading." I realized my mistake, and followed up with an email saying appologize about it. I am here if you need any help. Lots of things have taken place between us since last two semesters. I am completely confused what to do to survive this friendship. I cant seem to forget her and to be honest I have never felt so strong and positive about someone in my life. I have liked girls before, this is different. I am not physically attracted to her in anyway. I dont know. I just want us to put behind us all arguments, etc entire semester and get back to the way we were last semester. If I can do that, I can prob get our relationship to work out. Any suggestions ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:09am

You know, as much as you want to be her friend, you can't force it to happen. There really could be too much water under the bridge for her to want to try again.

The frequent religious arguments also make me think that one (or both) of you lack a basic respect for the other's beliefs. I can't imagine debating someone else's religion with them....unless they pushed their beliefs upon me...in which case, they are not respecting my beliefs.

>>"look into yourself and be honest. Where is our firendship leading?"<<

What were you trying to achieve by this line of questioning? Not only is it argumentative (as you've admitted) but it's also patronising and demanding. To be honest, I'm not surprised she's avoiding you. Why were you unable to respect her request for no arguments? I'm not attacking you...rather, I'd like to hear what's going on for you.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 3:12pm

Welcome to the board lostinthemist,


The thing is you can't force her into having a