Please help I am loosing my friend

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Please help I am loosing my friend
6
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 4:22pm
I have known my friend for about a little over two years. And this past April fools I decided to play a little prank on him to open his eyes alittle bit on how he mis-treats women. Basically I wrote a nasty letter sounding like a de-ranged ex girlfriend and sent some emails to him with the same spin-off or the origional letter. When he didnt know it was me he was coming up to me lauging about the situation. Later that day i was going to tell him the truth but when he found out that it was me he completely ignored me and said he didnt want to have **** to do with me. I bought flowers to show how sorry I was and even offered dinner and lunch.He still wont forgive me he walks past me not speaking or even looking in my direction. What should i do? I dont see how he can still be mad at me its been 2 weeks exactly. what is goin on in his head? and what should i do to get my friend back? Will we ever become friends? Please help I feel miserable about the whole situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 04-16-2004 - 4:35pm
I think you should leave him alone and let him heal. Some pranks are not funny.

I'm not sure what kind of response you expected to get from him.... sounds like you didn't think this through.

And at the same time, if you wanted to point out how he mistreats woman, there had to be a better way to do it then this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2004
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 10:08am
But its been a month now and hes still acting as though it happend yesterday why is he being so silly. It was meant to be a joke. And this not talking to me is getting to be pretty ridiculus. Why is he not letting this go?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 10:31am

Perhaps you wrote him this letter not only to open his eyes, but to open your own as well. You said you wanted him to know how he "mis-treats" women.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 11:01am
Well it turns out he doesn't treat women well like you said, including you. Why be friends with a person like this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-19-2004 - 1:22pm
A month? Well, let's see, he's hurt, angry, and probably doesn't think it's funny. He feels what he feels and just because you think he should 'get over it' doesn't mean he's going to. To him, this may be a reason to end the relationship permanantely. If so, you have to accept that.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-1999
Tue, 04-20-2004 - 8:54am
He may feel that you betrayed his confidence. Friends do not do things to hurt friends - even as jokes. How would you have felt if he did something like this to you? YOu took it too an extreme and do not seem to be accepting that you did something wrong to someone you called friend. You attempts at apologies may not have seemed sincere to him - you are sorry because he has disassociated from you, but are you sorry you did something that caused him pain? There is a difference.

Accept your responsibility, offer him a sincere apology and stop trying to excuse it as a joke. If at all possible try to apologize to his face - even if he is with people. If you can't do that, then send him a certified letter. Then its up to him but simply saying I'm sorry doesn't mean he has to choose to associate with you anymore. This doesn't remove your responsibility for apoplgizing sincerely though.

Accept your responsibility, apologize, and move on. Its up to him to accept it or not.

Toni