Please help, i'm 20 and married
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Please help, i'm 20 and married
| Wed, 06-27-2007 - 3:36pm |
My husband and I have been married for almost a year now. Right after we were married his mom and sister moved in with us. He always spends time with his mom and sister, when he gets home he's with them. I will go hide in my room so i can be alone, and he will tell me i'm unsociable. We have had lots of problems. He let her use our credit card and she charged 1300 dollars on it. I wanted to buy him a helmet for his quad and she went out and bought it for him for christmas, well i asked her how she knew it would fit him, and she said because it fits my head. So then i call my husband upset and he says whatever you buy me will be better because you bought it. Then I ask how she got the money and he says he dosen't know, she must have borrowed it from a exhusband. I check online where the cards been and he was with her at the store when she bought it because he has to sign for it and he has the card. So they both lied to me. But he thinks i'm supposed to want to spend all this time with her.. ....yea right they both lied and she hasn't even paid the card off and now it has been 6 months!! After that happened a few months later he calls me at work and says. my boss said i have to go to hawaii i'm leaving in an hour. I'll be gone for a couple of days. All this stuff i don't think he should be doing but he tells me i am crazy and jealous. We are planning to move in August and I bought the fridge that is currently in the house, well i want to take it when we move because it is our fridge. He told me i can't take it because we will already have a fridge at the house. I want a fridge in the garage and it shouldn't matter its our fridge. He tell me that i am a selfish bitch and his mom shouldn't have to buy a fridge, she can just borrow ours. But she won't buy one if she borrows ours. why would she!!!
Am i totally wrong on this stuff??????????????
Am i totally wrong on this stuff??????????????

Welcome to the board christybisping,
First of all, your husband should not be calling you names. There is no reason for it at all, and I for one would never stand for that. Second, it is not right that he and his mother are both lying to you about things.
It could be that things will get
glitter-graphics.com
No, you aren't completely wrong on this. The interdependency with his family disrupts your relationship.
It’s understandable to shy away when his family comes over. I know exactly how you feel. When I went to my boyfriend's family’s house for Christmas, there was a point when I wanted to crawl up into a hole and die. Anxiety around the family is normal, but it is, sadly, something we all must need to overcome in order to become healthy partners.
Just go hang out with the family, even if you hate it. This is what you did when you said "yes" to your man’s wedding proposal. You agreed to be part of his family. Don't be shaky to your word. Make your word as solid as stone. Be with the damn family. Getting closer to the mother could benefit you. Instead of confronting your husband about this issue, you should be able to confront his mother, because technically, it was her fault. But since he is her mother, you should be nice about the matter. Don't get angry with your husband for the money the mom charged. Get angry with her!
As for being married at twenty, that sounds pretty scary enough. Make sure there are things that you are doing independently from your husband. Do you have aspirations, things you want to work up to? Are you in school? Getting married young can be difficult. Life will pull you into so many directions. What is needed, is that you find something, a job, a passion, and a hobby outside of the house, and conquer it. Make friends with other wives. Join a book club. Do things that make you feel active.
Then, go back to this situation. Talk to his mother about the matter, not your husband. If you have animosity about the mother acquiring the refrigerator, talk to her about it. Tell her you want her to pay for it. Try to leave your husband out of this situation.