Please help me!
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Please help me!
| Tue, 06-29-2004 - 1:32pm |
My boyfriend and I recently had a fight. We've been together for roughly 4 years. 2 and a half years ago we split up for 6 months because we weren't sure that we were supposed to be together. Turns out we are. Then last october we had a break for a month or so because of the same thing that it is this time. I have trouble controlling my temper and get angry at the stupidest stuff. My boyfriend doesn't treat me bad by any means. If anything he is a better person now. It used to be that when we went out that I paid for everything and he did what he wanted to without even asking me. Now he pays for almost everything and he's cut out the stupid sh*t he used to do (just stupid immature boy stuff) and he's quit drinking too (when he used to drink he would always drink WAY too much) And yet I still get mad at him. Over the stupidest stuff. Take this fight for example. All last week he spent every single night with me. I wanted to go to the movies and he didn't. So Friday night he says he's going to have a night with the guys, fine whatever I don't care. He has to work late on saturday so I didn't see him until about 2. Sunday he tells me that he went to the drive in on friday and I went completely ballistic on him. I'm talking, psycho mad. Usually when we have a fight he'll do something stupid to make me laugh and that will be the end of it. In this instance he was standing there with a wee tiny towel wrapped around his waist. It really was funny and I wanted to laugh, but for some reason I kept carrying on that I was mad at him, when I actually wasn't anymore. And then after he left I kept coming after him. Calling him and carrying on. This is what I did the last time we split up. I do get mad at him for other stupid stuff to, like if he makes a comment that I don't like I'll get all bitchy at him. And its not that I'm even mad or care all that much. I just do it. This time he says that he doesn't know if he can deal with it anymore and he doesn't know if he wants to stay together. He said that whenever he talks to another girl he loves me even more because no other girl can even come close to comparing to me. But now he doesn't know if thats true anymore. I don't know if he just said that because he was mad or what. I can't lose him. And I know if he leaves he's going to regret it. How can I stop this bad habit of being mad and carrying on like a little child? (Because thats kinda what it is, me throwing a tempertantrum to get attention) Someone please help. To make matters worse, sunday morning (before the fight) we had sex and yesterday I forgot to take my pill. Someone please tell me the chance of getting pregnant because of that is remote.
I can't bear to lose him, he's the love of my life, but I can't stop getting mad when I'm really not. Please please help
I can't bear to lose him, he's the love of my life, but I can't stop getting mad when I'm really not. Please please help

A student I worked with became so irate with me one day and begged me to call his parent so they could come and help him calm down. I said no, I believe that you are able to calm down all by yourself. I'm not going to try to calm you down either. In just a few minutes, he was able to calm down, I pointed out that he had done it all by himself - he stood a few inches taller. His anger bouts became less.
::It really was funny and I wanted to laugh, but for some reason I kept carrying on that I was mad at him, when I actually wasn't anymore. And then after he left I kept coming after him. Calling him and carrying on.
This is because either 1) you want him to know how strongly you feel about it, 2) want him to apologize, 3) want him to know you think he's wrong or 4) you want to punish him and force the issue to what? get his attention, break up??? only you can answer that question. I hope you find the answer.
Carrie