please help me! my marriage is dying

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2004
please help me! my marriage is dying
4
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 2:52pm
Please help me! My marriage is on life support.

The reason? I don't have sexual desire for my wife.

I never really did. I asked her to marry me for

reasons other than love. We both have serious

health issues.

Is there a drug I can get which will make me desire

her (and only her) sexually? This is killing my

wife - she cries and cries. What can I do? Life

seems so horribly cruel to me now - I don't believe

God exists.




iVillage Member
Registered: 09-23-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 4:40pm
Possibly, are you confusing desire with impotency? If it is impotencty that is the problem, you mentioned that you have severe health problems. Have you talked to your Doctor about your impotency issues? Certain diseases and medications can contribute to erectile dysfunction, so it would be best to rule out physical causes for the problem. As far as a drug that could aid you in having "desire" but only for your wife, to my knowledge those medications just aid in the physical aspects of the erection, not the emotional. Just a thought...
Avatar for rikimiki
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 4:52pm

I do not think that there is a pill out there that exists.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
Thu, 01-08-2004 - 5:37pm
I agree, marrying for reasons other than love is a problem that cannot be fixed with a pill. However, now you are in and want to save your marriage, which is good. Barring physical problems (=impotency), have you thought about a sexual therapist? Or, try the sex-related bulletin boards for tips on how to 'spice things up'. Try to read erotic novels with her. Work out together with your wife (sounds weird, but it works, especially if you are doing a workout you enjoy, like biking....). Play wrestling in the bedroom. Especially, connect with her. As far as my experience goes, connection and affection are the best aphrodisiacs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Fri, 01-09-2004 - 7:32am

a few questions before i reply:


do you have any sexual desires at all? for any woman? or man?


have you ever had sexual desires?


did you and your wife ever have sexual relaitons? do you have any intimate relations (not intercourse) - kissing, hugging, taking showers?


what are these medical issues? some meds affect the libido.


i amsorry for your pain...