Please help me through this!
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| Fri, 03-09-2007 - 11:38pm |
Okay,
I'm really scared. I have been having my emotions flying back and forth on my feelings for my boyfriend. There are some problems that I want to talk to him about. He lives an hour away and works alot, so I usually go there, but this week my schedule was bad and there was one day, he could have come here. But he wouldn't and this bothered me alot. So, I started pushing him away, not calling him, barely writing anything if I emailed him. The whole time I was doing this though I was terrified he would think I wanted to break up, when all I really want is for him to want me and to care about me. I have finally decided to talk it over with him, however I'm terrified to do this because I'm scared that he'll decide he doesn't want to stay with me or I'll find out that he doesn't care about me enough to want to try. My emotions are on such a rollercoaster. Please help me through this.
P.S. I posted this on the boderline personality message board as well, because there is a possibility that I have that.

Deciding to talk to him is a good start.
Will he break up with you when he hears what you have to say? If you are both able to listen to how the other feels and accept their thoughts, even if you disagree, it's unlikely.
For example, while it bothered you that he didn't come to your place, he may simply say he was tired and needed a night off. While you may not like it, this is a perfectly acceptable explanation. Likewise, he should be able to accept hearing that you wished he could have come over. And your thoughts are perfectly acceptable too.
Now would be a good time to discuss your individual expectations for the relationship and find compromise.
In the meantime, don't be scared of him breaking up with you if you speak your mind. You see, if you keep your feelings to yourself, then the relationship is based on a lie. If he breaks up when you're honest, it simply means you're not suited to each other.
There's something else to consider too: I've known of people who break up with a partner because they don't say what they feel. I would rather have a relationship with someone who I disagree with on occaision than someone who never says how they feel.