Please help! Need advice!
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Please help! Need advice!
| Sat, 01-24-2004 - 3:24pm |
My boyfriend and I are both 25 and have been living together for 3 years now. For the last year we have had a roomate or two. I agreed to this because we live in expensive California and we wanted to live in a place that was bigger than a crackerbox. In a year, we are moving to Florida and plan on buying our first home. I was very excited at the thought of having our own place and being more like a normal couple. I recently learned that my boyfriend still plans on having roomates to defer the cost. I feel that that we don't need help with the costs because we are just going to get a place we can afford - like how everybody else does it. Of course, technically having roomates will help with the cost, but what about privacy, comfort, my darn feelings?!? I hate the idea of sharing my personal space with other people but my boyfriend loves having people around him. How can we reach an agreement? When I try to explain how I feel and how I want to make a home with him, my boyfriend makes faces and gets huffy because he doesn't understand. Please help me! My boyfriend is beyond wonderful but this one thing makes me grit my teeth and I don't know what to do if we can't work this out.

Also, you mention that he loves having people around. Is this an issues in other areas of your relationship? I don't mean infidelity, I mean maybe there is an introvert/extrovert difference between the two of you and that is a problem. Is spending money a fight you often have?
I understand your position. I wouldn't look forward to buying a house if I was going to feel like I was in college again.
are you buying this house together - each putting down the same amount, each contributing the same amount toward morgage, bills, etc.? or is he buying the house?
it seems to me that if you can't afford to buy a house without having roomates - then you are not financially ready to buy a house.
if its NOT a money issue, and he just wants people around - then it seems that you have different life styles. this is a major issue, and sounds a bit too "college" to me.
If the two of you have a strong relationship then your moving out won't hurt it. Hopefully eventually he'll miss you and realize what he had and thus will be more willing to compromise about the living situation.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi