please help... too controlling????

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-21-2006
please help... too controlling????
1
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 3:55pm
Hi everyone, I know this probably the place to post a discussion about this, but this is my story made short. I have a wonderful boyfriend that I have been with for a year. He has been great to me dealing with my panic disorder, I have improved a lot, but not as much as I would like to. Im still figuring myself out. Well anyways, I love my boyfriend more than anything and I know he loves me too, but he is so jealous, he swears its not that, but he always has to be with me and lately i feel like its just to make sure im not doing something else. He has heard rumors that when he went out of town I had cheated on him which was a lie, and caused a lot of problems. He wouldnt leave me alone about it, I felt almost like he wanted to hear that I did cheat on him. We got past all that, but I swear he never gives me any chance to hang out with my friends. He got into this relationship knowing I had more guy friends than girlfriends. I have always been that way, and just because I have a lot of guy friends doesnt mean that they are all going to hit on me or im going to sleep with him. and he always asks me if i did sleep with them. I dont have friends with benefits especially since I love my boyfriend more than to do that to him. But my problem is, I find myself having to hide the fact that i still hang out with my freinds just so he wont get mad. ill take advantage of the free nights i get to go see my dad for a while and then if i want to i can hang with a friend, I love all my friends and I hate that i have to be like this, but he flips out over nothing. If I wanted to cheat on him I would just leave him, because obviously the way i see it is if im going to do something like that then obviously im not happy. Im not that kinda girl, but I need my friends just as much as I need him and he doesnt seem to get it, what should I do????

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 4:03pm

Welcome to my board melg33,


"I find myself having to hide the fact that i still hang out with my freinds just so he wont get mad." Than this is the wrong relationship for you, in my opinion. You shouldn't have to hide things like this from your partner. You should be able to be honest and open with them about everything.


Don't hide the fact that you are hanging out with your friends anymore. Tell him what you are doing. If he gets mad just tell him that you are always going to have friends and will always want to hang up with them once in a while. Do you ever invite him to hang out with you and your friends? Maybe he would feel more comfortable with it if you allowed him to be part of it every once in a while.


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