Please help us!

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
Please help us!
5
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 12:29pm
My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years. We just had our 2nd baby in March and things are supposed to be great. They are not. I quit my job to stay home with the kids and that is what I have wanted since our 1st was born over 3 years ago. He finally agreed. Being home is NOT as easy as I thought it would be. My husband is a neat freak and when I was trying to convince him I should stay home I promised I would keep up on the chores. I am NOT doing so well dealing with a baby with collic and potty training my oldest! Almost every day I at least have the house picked up - but he always finds something I didn't pick up, didn't wipe off etc. I just feel like I never make him happy. This of course has been going on for 5 years, but is has recently gotten worse with the recent change of events. I have had no intrest in sex for quite a while, and now with the demands for my attentin all day long; at night I just want to be left alone. We have been slowly drifting apart and now I am afraid that he loves me more then I love him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: rayrayl
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 12:39pm

Hi rayrayl and welcome to the board,


Everything you feel is normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
In reply to: rayrayl
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 1:02pm
Thank you. I guess until you mentioned it, I never told him that it bothered me in that way. I just ended up yelling back at him. Thank you so much! I am going to give it a try. We need a night out anyhow!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: rayrayl
Wed, 05-16-2007 - 4:38pm

I agree, talking about him about this is a good idea. So is getting a babysitter and going out just the two of you. Maybe he would be willing to watch the kids for a hour or so on the weekend so you could have some "me" time.


Good luck to you.


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Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: rayrayl
Thu, 05-17-2007 - 3:59pm

Firstly, it is very easy to ignore, not want and be too tired for a husband after a new baby's born, especially when there's a toddle there too. Especially a husband who's being critical and demanding. However, it's important to realize that when a new baby comes, many husband's feel sensitive as if they have more responsibility now and are getting less of their wife's time and attention. The more he feels that way, the more critical and demanding he may become about cleaning and being neat. It's a vicious cycle.


The two of you need to take some time out, sit down, talk to each other, take a walk, go for dinner. Get some help in so you can get out. Make quality time for him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-13-2003
In reply to: rayrayl
Fri, 05-18-2007 - 8:16am
Thank you so much everyone. I have dinner planned for Sat night if my mom agrees to take the kids for a couple hours. I am truly looking forward to it! Maybe we will have to stop home quick before we pick them up! Thank you, thank you!