Please help...desperately seeking advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Please help...desperately seeking advice
25
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 6:43am

Hello,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 7:39am

You had every right to insist that he not be in the delivery room... The nurses will do everything in their power to ensure that YOUR wishes are taken care of because YOU are the focus. If he was going to make you more nervous by being there then you absolutely should have told them that he wasn't on the "guest list"... but I guess all is said and done now

Anyway, this relationship is not a healthy one. I understand that you grew attached to him and that he is now the father of your child, but two people cannot coexist peacefully if they are so different that all they do is fight. Do you really want to be fighting in front of your daughter for the rest of your lives? OR do you want to set an example for her about how strong women can be? It's awful of him to want to break up with you now that you have a daughter together, but I can sort of see his point; being together is not working for either of you and ultimately it's bad for your child.

If you have to pack up and move, maybe in a few months when your daughter is a little older, then do it. Move close to people who care about you. There is nothing you can accomplish with this guy that you can't do on your own.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:57am

Thank you so much for your reply, ever since I wrote that message it gave me some peace.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-26-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 8:59am
I think you need to see a mental health professional. Your behavior, according to your post, is erratic and irrational. Regardless of whether your relationship with your b/f can be fixed you need some professional help.
LG
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:33am
I don't think you're a failure in relationships. It just seems that you've made some wrong turns, being pregnant by men who ultimately weren't right for you. It's hard to be in love, and to share a human life with another individual, and NOT want to make things work. Of course you want things to work out, and I understand why you have a tough time getting over this man. What makes it even harder is that it's clearly not over; either you two are going through a very tough time in your relationship or you're fighting an inevitable end to it. If you're both really committed to making it work between you, then you'll need to embrace your differences, learn to accept and live with one another, and focus on what makes you happy about being together. Counseling, either individually or together, will be really necessary if you're both willing to stop "calling it off" and make a real effort at togetherness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 10:35am

I have pondered on that too...I think I am racked up in guilt that I tried to push him away, made him mad although he had tried his best to be there for me when I was pregnant.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 10-22-2007 - 12:35pm
Welcome to the board jm-lg and thanks for participating.





iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 12:30am

Just an update,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 12:44am
Saying a prayer for you and sending you a HUG morningstar!





iVillage Member
Registered: 10-05-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 5:28am

I'll pass on some advice from my marriage counselor "No one MAKES you cheat, drink or beat them".

It is not enough to have a good mind.  The main thing is to use it well.-- Rene Descartes

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-17-2007
Tue, 10-23-2007 - 5:39am

I am updating as things happen in my situation...


Today has been surreal.

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