Morningstar, I know you are devastated, but you need to focus on securing your daughter's rights and obtaining full custody of her. Please see an attorney or visit Social Services immediately so you can be sure he will be legally required to support her, and so he can't just decide to take her to Tucson without telling you. Right now, the two of you have equal authority in determining how things will be for her, and he is already showing irresponsibility in bringing the new girlfriend into her life.
Geoteo gave you some excellent advice. I just want to chime in and give you some thoughts....
::He started crying saying that I wasn't feeding her enough (she breastfeed) and while I was in so much stress, I thought perhaps I have not been abl to produce milk as I should.
Last night, A new friend I met through myspace visited, no, not that kind...he is a christian and from his profile we have been talking for about a week ever since this whole thing ever started.
"His sister responded that she wouldn't be able to interfere much to what is going on that she feels bad about the situation and would like to continue having a relationship with my daughter even though I am no longer in the relationship. "
I'm really sorry... I don't think his sister is the right person to reach out to. Family members sort of "belong" to one another, and while she might feel awful about the situation and want a relationship with her niece, you're speaking badly about her brother - her immediate family and flesh and blood - you can't realistically expect her to take your side. It could irreparably damage their relationship. I know that if my brother, who is my best friend, were to treat a woman badly I wouldn't like it, and I'd feel badly, but I'd stay out of the situation unless it were physically abusive. Family is worth a lot and it's tough to condemn a family member for their mistakes. The other side of this, is that what you say to her may very well come back to him. I wouldn't expect a confidentiality agreement between you and his sister. Family members don't often keep secrets from one another for the sake of someone else.
I think it's a better idea to reach out to people who are close to YOU... Your own family and friends. I hope you have someone like that.
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There may not be a battle (although he sounds like a creep and a jerk, if you ask me).
Thank you all so much for your advice.
Hi morningstar,
Geoteo gave you some excellent advice. I just want to chime in and give you some thoughts....
::He started crying saying that I wasn't feeding her enough (she breastfeed) and while I was in so much stress, I thought perhaps I have not been abl to produce milk as I should.
Hello again,
:: I would like to continually update only because it helps me cope with the situation.
Feel free anytime to post an update here or follow the link in my siggy to the Breaking up is hard to do board.
It's good that you remembered his past behavior.
Update
Last night, A new friend I met through myspace visited, no, not that kind...he is a christian and from his profile we have been talking for about a week ever since this whole thing ever started.
Update: November 2007
Today is another day, and things have quiet down for me a
"His sister responded that she wouldn't be able to interfere much to what is going on that she feels bad about the situation and would like to continue having a relationship with my daughter even though I am no longer in the relationship. "
I'm really sorry... I don't think his sister is the right person to reach out to. Family members sort of "belong" to one another, and while she might feel awful about the situation and want a relationship with her niece, you're speaking badly about her brother - her immediate family and flesh and blood - you can't realistically expect her to take your side. It could irreparably damage their relationship. I know that if my brother, who is my best friend, were to treat a woman badly I wouldn't like it, and I'd feel badly, but I'd stay out of the situation unless it were physically abusive. Family is worth a lot and it's tough to condemn a family member for their mistakes. The other side of this, is that what you say to her may very well come back to him. I wouldn't expect a confidentiality agreement between you and his sister. Family members don't often keep secrets from one another for the sake of someone else.
I think it's a better idea to reach out to people who are close to YOU... Your own family and friends. I hope you have someone like that.
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