Please Please Please help me.....
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Please Please Please help me.....
| Tue, 09-21-2004 - 9:49am |
Hi all....I'm so upset....I have tryed and tryed and tryed to get over my X. We have been divorced for less than a year and I can't seem to get past it. He cheated on me. He now lives with the girl. He says he is happier than he was but not the happiest he can be. I know I shouldn't want him back but I really do miss him and I loved him soooo much. I also realize that he is now a different person then he was when I loved him. How can I get past this. I feel like I have tryed everything and I'm so miserable. I cry alot and I just can't stand it. Please Please help me. Does anyone have any advice. Any good books anything at all. I'm willing to try anything to make this pain go away. I really do want to get over him I just don't know what to do to get there. Is there such a thing as never getting over it? I can't stand the way this feels.
Thanks so much ahead of time.

There are many issues involved here and reasons why you are crying so much. First of all, when a marriage (or deep relationship) ends, there is naturally a time of grieving. It is a big loss and you should realize that it will take awhile to move out of the stages of grieving and mourning. Be gentle with yourself and kind. Don't blame yourself for what happened. I am certain that you are also carrying around feelings of being betrayed and perhaps a sense of not being good enough to keep him happy. All of these feelings combine to cause you to be quite upset. It sounds to me as though it would help a great deal right now to talk to a good therapist or counsellor, to help you sort out what happened, your own self esteem and to move past the sense of loss to a sense of future. I also recommend my book Zen And The Art of Falling In Love. This book discusses the very nature of love and relationships and includes a great deal on letting go. It also has wonderful exercises for you to do at home.
Above all realize, that what he did says more about him than about you. He has his own issues to deal with and jumping from one woman to another may make him feel better in the short run, but in the long run everyone must face and live with themselves.
Best wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Thanks so much!!
Thanks