please reply, need advice!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2003
please reply, need advice!!
2
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 9:33pm
I have always been in relationships where I have been treated badly, and now I am finally with someone I love who treats me like a queen. The problem is, I still occasionally think about an ex who I am now friends with and talk to regularly. Although the ex didn't treat me well when we dated, he is a much better friend than boyfriend. We usually talk as friends, but occasionally the conversation will turn flirty, something we agree we cannot stop doing, no matter how hard we try. I also find myself getting very jealous of my ex's relationship with his current girlfriend, although the way he talks about it, it doesnt seem to be a very loving or fulfilling relationship for him.

I love my current boyfriend very much and want to be with him 100%, not with my ex. I have tried in the past to stop talking to my ex, but we seem to have a magnetic attraction that weakens both of us. I want to be friendly with my ex still, so how do I stop thinking about him romantically and focus on my loving and deserving boyfriend?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2004
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 9:52pm


I think if you love your current boyfriend and are happy in the relationship why chance it on someone who once treated you lousey. I think you have to weigh the pros and cons of you remaning friends with your ex. Is it worth it. sometimes you want what you cant have and alot of times if your flirting already its only a matter of time before it gets more serious.

Just think would you like your current boyfriend to have a flirty relationship with his ex??probley not and with good reason.

Think about what is most important to you and go with what feels right

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Tue, 06-01-2004 - 10:37pm
You need to work on your self esteem and jealousy issues and think about the priorities in your life. Why were you and are you still attracted to men who treat you poorly?