PLEEEEEASE HELP

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
PLEEEEEASE HELP
2
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 6:58pm
HI. I need a lot of help. I am a newlywed..been married for 6 months on the 5th of January. Last night my husband told me he sometimes wonders if he shorthanded himself. I know that my husband is not pleaed with my physical apperance, but always tell me how much of a sweetheart I am. MY HEART IS BROKEN!! I sometimes think I should of known better since the first time we made love, we were talking and he came out and said even I did not meet his standards. I do not know what to do. I do not know if I can go on living my life as if I am under a microscope. I love my husband more then anything in the world, he is my life. And I know he loves me in some way, but I do not know how..and I do not know if come 30 years down the road when I am 52, how he will feel about my physical appearence then. I know I am not ugly, not beautiful either, cute ya know right in the middle, but I guess he has always had this dream of a super model looking wife (quoted from him). And I am far from that. PLEASE HELP ME..I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH THIS.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2003
In reply to: mickeytlw
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:11pm
Hi,

It sounds to me as if you've got yourself a very shallow and inconsiderate husband! First of all, who does he think he is to be so cruel to you?? Doesn't he even realize how much his words are hurting you and crushing your self-esteem? He knew who you were and what you looked like before you tied the knot. Suddenly, he thinks he made a mistake? Why is he so obsessed with your outward appearance? Pretty is as pretty does, and if you are the "sweetheart" that he's told you that you are, I can't understand his problem.

Honestly, if anyone made a mistake it was you - This guy sounds like a real loser...Why would you want to live a lifetime with someone who is so immature as to measure you by your looks?

I know this sounds extreme, but I'd really consider getting a divorce now, before there are children to consider, or after you've wasted more time with this guy. You need to find someone who realizes that beauty's only skin deep and loves you for the "you" inside. Good luck...I know there's someone out there who will love and cherish you! Let this dope find someone who is absolutely gorgeous...and who treats him like the trash he is!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-22-2003
In reply to: mickeytlw
Thu, 01-01-2004 - 11:46pm
I agree with bluewrite: you got yourself a gem of a husband. You are the one who got the bad deal, not him. Get out of there before your self esteem is completely crushed. Your husband is indeed shallow and cruel: shallow for 'dreaming of supermodels', and cruel for treating the person he is supposed to love and cherish as if she were 'not worth it.' Not worth what? His precious attention? Look, I was involved with someone who believed that it was OK to make me feel bad about my looks all the time, when I was very young. I got out, and was so much better off. I know that a divorce at this point sounds like a failure, but think about it this way: if you get out now, you have a good chance to recover and find happiness with a real man, with real values. If you stay, he may end up dumping you for some 'fresher meat'. He sounds like the guy who would do something like that...

Do not allow him to treat you like this. Life is short and too precious to share it with someone who thinks you don't measure up to his standards. He is garbage and is not worth your time.

Hugs.