pls tell me

Visitor (not verified)
anonymous user
Registered: 12-31-1969
pls tell me
3
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 10:50am
it's wrong to have an affair in a relationship u are not happy in. and where u've made ur partner known u want to leave but wont let u go cos of the baby had together. where there is no attraction, no love and no good sex. happen to meet someone u are crazy about and makes u happy . pls tell me cos this is what am going through. i want to leave but pressure is to much from my family and him. pls tell what to do
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 11:41am
I think you need to think logically about this. Is your reason for staying to keep this child happy? How happy would he/she be if she found out her mom had an affair? It's clear that the relationship is over. You are only teaching your child that marriage is loveless, and she may end up in similar relationship. Before you start thinking about another relationship, I think you should end the one you are in. It's just going to add more compliactions to an already complicated situation.

Let me know what you decide,

bella*

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to:
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 11:44am
You have to do what is right for the baby. Will he/she grow up in a happy home and learn about love, honesty, respect, etc from your marriage?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-05-2004
In reply to:
Fri, 05-28-2004 - 2:42pm
I know you want to hear someone agree with you and say your situation is unfair and yes, go ahead and cheat, but I just can't. I'm sorry but it's still wrong, even if you're unhappy. I understand family pressures can be hard, but you're a mother yourself now. You are an adult with your own family, and as an adult you need to make your own decisions. If it's really that bad with this man, you need to leave. The child's relationship with its father doesn't have to end just because yours did. He can still be involved in his baby's life. But to cheat just because you are scared to stand up to your family and make your own decision is unfair and childish. Besides, if you get caught you'll have to deal with not only being alone, but also with your family's disappointment in your actions.