Plse help me understand this....
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| Wed, 06-06-2007 - 6:23am |
Ok, heres the deal.
Together for two years... we have four kids,
For almost a year, if not more, our sex life, our intimate life, just everything is falling apart!!!! We dont kiss at all, only duty kisses. like hello from work and that stuff.....
He quit his job, no problem , boss was a jerk anyway, ..... I'm working like 50+ hours a week and juggling 4 kids on top of it...But I will add that he does all the housework and anything extra that needs done around the house, meals, laundry, etc.......
Last week I find all kinds of porno on the computer, teen stuff, over 40 stuff, thumb sucking fetish sh*t, and you name it!!!!!
I question him on it, he says he's sorry and I ask how could I ever compare to any of that????
Next ordeal,......we live on a very rural road, less than 200 people/couple on this road..... lately all kinds of people have been screwing around, leaving their spouses of years and the such, I mean, even the fire chief of the community is screwing around!!!!So, ok, heres the problem...
Theres a couple ladies on the road, one , her husband recently left her for a younger chic and just stiffed her, no problem, feel sorry for her.
However!!!!! her neighbour!!!! has latched on to my hubby..... this lady is married and all!!!!
So, I've been having a gut feeling about all of this..... my hubby fixing her power tools and talking with her and such..........
Tonite, my 14 yr old son asks my hubby why he would offer to mow her lawn for her, when its supposed to be his(14 yr old) job......??????
I asked what this is about........My hubby gets all pissed off and starts slamming doors and such....I tell him that cant we talk about this??? He says he hasnt done anything wrong..... Well, just last week we had a conversation about this "lady", that she was paying my 14yr old with beer and smokes, and then my hubby offers to help her out?? "If she's in a pinch?"""" what???? Hubby says I told him to offer help if needed, Yes, I did, that was to the other lady that is almost blind and her hubby stiffed her for the younger chic, not all the other "helpless" ladies on the road.
Let me add that , one day I called from work to talk with hubby, and 14 yr old tells me that hubby went to return power tool he fixed to this chic, without taking any of the kids with him!!!!(which is strange to me, to leave all four home alone) Also, this chic runs a pet rescue, and my husband is right into this stuff, so who knows........
My husband responds that her husband is away for months at a time and wants my hubby to mow her lawn?????How in the world would this come up in a conversation???
However, previously to this conversation, I had asked him about this and he said he has talked to her for only 5 minutes........I guess I'm frustrated at the fact that hubby can find all this time to make other ladies feel ok, but neglects to ensure that "I" am not ok in our relationship.......Heres the biggest ???? in my mind right now.....
1st) why would my husband know when he (the husband)is home and not???
2nd) when things arent right with us , why wouldnt he try to fix this first???
3rd) why would he lie about his conversations with her???
4th) why do I feel like a fool hearing info second hand from my kid???
Can anyone give me some insight on this??? Am i wrong or what???

1st) why would my husband know when he (the husband)is home and not???
because she is now part of his social circle. she is around when you are at work. she needs him and he likes to be needed. 1,000,000 reasons that all equal to the fact he gets his ego stroked and he likes how that feals.
2nd) when things arent right with us , why wouldnt he try to fix this first???
does he know things aren't right with you. does he know what, if anything is wrong? what have you and he done to pro actively identify and address what needs fixing?
3rd) why would he lie about his conversations with her???
so he doesn't have to deal with the negativity that is created between you two when the subject comes up.
4th) why do I feel like a fool hearing info second hand from my kid???
because if your kids know he is giving inappropriate attention to the women in your neighborhood then so does everyone else in your small community. that would make anyone feel like a fool.
U;Can anyone give me some insight on this??? Am i wrong or what???
he is a stay at home dad now. that is difficult on men with the strongest of self esteem and egos. if he isn't getting the boost that he needs to get to compensate for that or it isn't enough for him, then he seeking that boost elseware.
U;Am i wrong or what???
only you can answer if your reaction is because you are overly insecure or if it is because you husband's behavior is not appropriate. Do you have to be right or do you have to make the situation better? A better question is what can you do to improve the situation.