Polar Opposites

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2005
Polar Opposites
4
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 2:03am

I'm having serious relationship problems with my husband of 3 years (companion of 15 years).

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 10:18am
He's a liar, a cheater, and he is mean to you in front of friends. I don't know what you expect counseling to fix.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sat, 12-29-2007 - 11:57am

You have 'trust issues' because he cheats on you. I hope counseling helps. it can if he wants to change. Does he? Does he take responsibility for the way he treats you?


Did you know he was this way when you married him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2005
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 9:52am

He does often get angry and says he's mad at himself because he's never treated me right.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Sun, 12-30-2007 - 10:24am

If he were truly sorry for the way he acted with you, he would change and not do it again.
He continues to do it so that means he doesn't love and respect you or your marriage. He has cheated on you more than once...not all liars are cheats but all cheaters are liars.

Without honesty, trust, respect and love you have nothing worth having. Talk with him about counseling if he agrees and truly works to make things better there is a chance. If he won't go to counseling with you then go by yourself, it will only help you. We teach others how to treat us....He can't do this to you unless you allow him to do it. You and your children deserve better, that should be your main concern.....children learn what is right and wrong from the environment that they are brought up in...this isn't a good environment for them, they are learning that drinking and cheating are ok.

IMO... you don't really love him...instead you think you don't deserve better, it is basically all you have known since 15, and I understand where you are coming from...I was married at 17 it took me 12 years 4 children to realize that my children and I deserved better, have been divorced since the twins were 2 that is 16 years now, one of the best decisions I made for myself and my children. Love and respect yourself first and foremost, until you do you can't receive that from someone else. You deserve that but you have to believe that you do first. Good luck