Poll :Please help strenghten my resolve
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| Fri, 02-27-2004 - 4:32am |
I am living what looks like a classic 'used me for sex' relationship yet.... Let's assume it is not the case please.
I started dating this guy about a month ago. I've known him for 6 months, we talk daily and send quite a lot of time together. I am quite smitten with him and apparently its reciprocal (well somewhat at least).
The problem is... He left his girfriend of 6 years in september 03 and moved out of their common appartment, sometimes in december she called him and 'She was so miserable that I got back together with her'(quoting him). I was not aware she got back into his life until I actually started dating him, and, since I fall in love quite infrequently, I decided that a 'relashionship that is going nowhere' was no stop to my attraction to him.
Well, I know it was dumb, I don't think he used me for sex since... He is getting some anyway and he could be getting some with much prettier women than me so...
Now we had a couple of serious talks and the bottom line is that he feels 'so guilty about so many things toward her' that he does not feel 'entiltled' to break up with her.
He says he is in love with me, that he would like to pursue a relationship with me, but his duty is with her and that I really should not fall in love with somebody so 'unworthy as him'.
I think she is checking his voice mail on his cellphone (and he does not know it) because I left him a message twice and he never got it. He is a terrible liar, no doubt she suspects something.
Would it be terribly heinous and low of me to leave him an explicit message? I thing it would be but....
The other alternative would be to leave him quietly, it would be dignified, honorable and taking the high road.... Yet....
Of course I can wonder all day long if I really want a relationship with a cheat... But you know, I'd rather live it and pay for it than not live at all.
Thanks for your help.
Valerie

My advice is to take the highroad and just back out of his life altogether. You don't need that crap. And I strongly urge you not to leave any explicit messages to anyone no matter how angry you might be. He's well aware he's done you wrong which is why he's feeding you the lies...out of sheer guilt and self-preservation. No way would he actually confess that he was just using you and is not in love with you. Besides, if things go awry with his gf again, he'll still be in good standing with you if he says the right things. All in the name of 'self-preservation'.
It's as simple as that. Time to move on.
Jennifer
"Oh, that you would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evi
Leave him and find someone who deserves you.