possible emotional affair?
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possible emotional affair?
| Sun, 03-25-2007 - 9:21pm |
i am very close to my female cousin and her husband. i have spent a great deal of time with them and their 2 children. recently, over the past 3 months, my relationship with my cousin's husband has changed. we have always gotten along very well and are good friends. a few months back, we had been at a party at my cousin's house, drinking alcohol and having a good time. it ended up at the end of the night, being just my cousin's husband and myself. we talked about a number of random topics and then he went on to tell me that he cares a great deal about me. i accepted his words as a compliment and was prepared to move on from there. he then went on to tell me that he couldn't stop thinking about having sexual intercourse with me. i told him that that would never happen. we talked some more and then he leaned in and kissed me...and i kissed him back. afterwards, i felt horrible and the following day we emailed back and forth and he called to apologize and said that it would never happen again. although the whole situation was upsetting, i blamed what happened on the alcohol and figured that it was a one-time thing that i wouldn't have to worry about again. but as the months have gone on, there have been 2 separate occasions where either he has made comments to me about having more than just friendly feelings towards me and on the most recent occasion, he attempted to kiss me again and i turned away. he acknowledged that i had "dodged the kiss". we continued talking after that attempted kiss and he went on to say that he wanted to kiss me. from there, he leaned in and kissed my neck and reached his hand under my shirt. i'm at the point now where i don't know where to go from here. i would never want to do anything to hurt my cousin or to jeopordize their relationship. i care so much about both my cousin and her husband and i don't want to stop hanging out with either of them because i truly do enjoy their company. i ended up emailing my cousin's husband asking what it was that we were doing and how his advances are affecting me but he has not yet responded. how should i react to him from this point on? is the only way to go, to never be alone with him again? is this an emotional affair that we are having?

There are certainly a lot of red flags here that indicate an affair. It really depends on one's interpretation of what an affair is. I think, from your post, that you believe it is. Therefore, it is.
If you do not want to continue a relationship that may well end up a full blown affair if this continues, you should have absolutely no contact without one or both of your SO/spouses present. You should not be emailing him for ANY reason other than ONE email to say that you will not continue with this and will have no further contact with him outside of family events. You are going into dangerous ground here!!!
In the end, it's not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away
-shing xiong
Welcome to the board semaylia,
My advice echos the advice you have already been given.