Pre-Marriage Counseling
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Pre-Marriage Counseling
| Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:45am |
DF and I are starting pre-marriage counseling within the next couple weeks. We have a very hard time communicating with one another also have very hot tempers. I swear, we are two of the most stubborn people you have ever met and it's destroying us. Do you think couples counseling will help us? I don't know anyone who has gone before getting married and I wonder how effective it is.
Thanks!

The counselor was great. We were able to talk at the office and when things got heated, the counselor was able to calm us down and get us to compromise and see where each of us was coming from.
The thing is that after we got married, (we were too young - I was 21, he was 23) problems came back. We ended up not going to counseling again and instead got a divorce after only a year of marriage. We were just tired of the fighting and felt that if we were really meant to be it should not be so hard to just get along.
I got married a 2nd time to a wonderful man. Had no premarital counseling but we get along wonderfully. We don't have huge blowout fights. We just get along really well, our personalities compliment one another. I often wonder why I tried to be with my ex when it was pretty clear, even before the wedding, that we had a hard time getting along.
it DEFINITELY helps.
while you are in counseling, bring up things like money, when you want children and how many, how many accounts you both want and if either of you agree on joint checking/savings etc, bring up what each of you thinks you ought to spend each month on frivulous things like clothes, restuarants, gifts etc,
Good luck! :)
Yes, couple counselling is a wonderful idea, especially before marriage, and of course afterwards as well, if needed. If the two of you have "hot" tempers and don't communicate well, it's extremely important to work out your differences and learn some basic skills in relationships before you tie the knot. This way you will get started on the right foot and have a fine foundation for building a life together.
I also recommend that you read my book Zen And The Art of Falling In Love. It's full of guidance on relationships and includes wonderful exercises the two of you can do together.
All best wishes,
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.