Pregnant While Dating During Seperation, Now Reconciled

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2013
Pregnant While Dating During Seperation, Now Reconciled
Sun, 10-13-2013 - 10:45pm

Hi guys,

I have a tough situation I'm hoping for advice on, especially from anyone who has been through something similar!

My husband and I separated earlier this year, and were apart for almost 6 months. He was dealing with some issues that had crept up from his childhood; they bled into our marriage and we split because of them. He filed for divorce so I believed the marriage was over. During the separation [after the divorce filing] I became pregnant by a man I was casually seeing, and I decided to keep the baby - even though the man wanted no involvement with the pregnancy. Right around the same time my husband realized [after months of therapy] he had made a mistake and wanted to give it another shot. He was aware that I was pregnant at this time.

We've been back together about two months now and we love being back in each other's lives. But... the baby is coming in two months and my husband is realizing he is having a hard time dealing with the idea of raising another man's child. Now that I'm starting to show I think it's starting to become more real for him. He's still in therapy [alone and we go together] but we agree he needs to take an honest look at things and figure out whether we can make this work... or not. He is worried he'll resent the child it's whole life and knows that is unfair.

Has anyone been through anything like this? I think it would help the mister greatly to get advice from anyone who has been through a situation even remotely similar. We appreciate any input, good or bad!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009

In this day and age, it seems like women have 2-3 "baby daddies" and then get together with another man, and he doesn't seem to mind.  But your husband already had issues before THIS issue came up.  Many men raise adopted children as their own.  You and your husband probably should get some therapy to decide whether or not he can deal with this issue.  Good Luck.