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| Mon, 06-02-2008 - 8:04pm |
I've written on the board before and still I think there are problems that i still don't understand.
Last weekend, my boyfriend had couple of his friends over and we were all having a good time (or so i thought) my boyfriends sister and i don't get along at all, i don't know why she doesn't like me i never did anything to her or said anything about her to anybody, shes nice to my face and a different person behind my back she's all about designer clothing/name brand everything and im not and she teases me behind my back (me being the bigger person) don't care to say anything bad, however she also talks bad about me to her friends (this i don't understand) it hurts my feelings and really gets under my skin.
Saturday night she and her friends were going out to the bar and they were pre-gaming in her bedroom, they all brought over skimpy clothes to wear out.. well they ended up not going to bar and instead they went to a friends house, when they came back couple hours later and stepped through that door my boyfriend just turned into somebody else. (he was very drunk)
I noticed he was into talking to the girls (sisters friends... who ignored me the whole night snickering and passing dirty looks) and he was following one of her sisters friend everywhere.. like a puppy dog. I was furious I wasn't drinking that much nor was i drunk I pulled him to the side and asked him "what are you doing? and he was laughing and smiling away and told me i'm not doing anything wrong" and kept walking away like i didn't matter to him, and i asked him to stop and he wasn't listening to me. anyways i was talking to his good friend about him and the situation and told his friend i was gonna leave just because i didn't want to be around that.
he said no, your boyfriend is just drunk don't leave thats stupid this and that and calmed me down. so i stayed couple hours later no one could find him i go upstairs hes in his sisters bedroom his sister and her provocative overly revealing dressed friends were there too and he was flirting with them just ignoring me and chatting away with them.
when everyone left.. i sat there i looked at him and i cried because i love him very much and my heart was just aching and i didn't know what to do I didn't want our relationship to end but i was just so confused and I didn't understand. I ended things with a break up this only lasted 4 hours even then i couldn't even leave i had no ride home he lives so far from me anyways the next morning when he was sober i talked to him about it and he kept saying "THOSE ARE MY SISTERS FRIENDS" and I asked him "why did you ignore me then?!"
and he said "I didn't ignore you, you werent being yourself you could have had a good time with us" so whatver he explained everything to me and told me not to be worried and everything was okay.
but a part of me is like this is what his sister probably wants, and i'm just really scare d ive done nothing but think about the situation and cry and just in the back of my head "maybe he was interested in those girls? and maybe hes just sick and tired of me" I don't know why I think that I shouldn't but what I saw that night gave me reason to believe maybe i'm not want he wants anymore.
but ended up getting back together and here i am explaining my story because I can't let it go and i want to and i wanna not worry about it please any advice would be great. thanks for taking the time to read all of that

Any man that ditches you at a public gathering is no good.
Hi poeticjusticezx,
I have to say since your first post, I'm impressed by you in the fact that you took the previous advice to heart and have cut down on your drinking.
I agree with itwinflame. That wouldn't feel right for me either. Being drunk can change someone's behavior, but it shouldn't make a guy follow around his sister's skimpy-dressed friend. I realize that men can be oblivious but if you weren't in company you enjoyed he should have taken you out somewhere to do something just the two of you or with other people. I love my younger brothers and their friends are mostly great/hilarious people to hang out with but a brother's friend is not someone who I consider safe territory for flirting. That's weird.
I agree you may be discovering that this guy isn't the right one for you. I'm sorry for the actions of petty people, even though you are a better person than they are it's still hurtful to be made the odd one out. Gucci doesn't manufacture personalities thank god.
Thank you all for the advice, and opinions.
I don't think what happened was meant to happen, considering i've never seen something like this before with him, I don't want to leave him I want him to understand and realize that what he did was a very bad thing.
I don't know how to go on about it. I would like his sister to at least have the courtesy to not talk about me behind my back to her friends, like this makes me cry i think to myself, "how can i be in a relationship with someone i love and be tortured at the same time by his family" I don't feel comfortable going to the bathroom in the middle of the night sometimes because her room is right there and i feel like if i wake her she'll talk smack about how i woke her up to her friends, shes not a nice person and i'm feeling horrible.
My boyfriend says there's no point in trying to get across to her, "she's just gonna talk bad again" he even tried telling her stop and like leave me alone and used harsh words to her, but they are brother and sister and she doesn't take him seriously, i know if she was dating my brother I wouldn't treat her like crap, i'm not like that i try to make people feel comfortable and not discriminated against in any way.
i'm so confused on what to do.